


Three of a Kind

by trash__universe



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU: Soulmates, Depressed Oikawa Tooru, Disabled Oikawa Tooru, Kyoutani has Anxiety, M/M, Soulmarks, Soulmates, Trigger Warning:homophobia, abused Kyoutani, but kyou's dad is homophobic, not major homophobia, trigger warning:abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-01 02:38:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15133268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trash__universe/pseuds/trash__universe
Summary: Even before they’d turned thirteen and got their mate marks, Iwaizumi and Oikawa had always been inseparable. So it didn’t come as a shock to anyone that their names had appeared on each other’s wrists the evenings of their thirteenth birthdays. What came as a surprise was the second name that came with it: Kyoutani Kentarou.





	1. The Mighty Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! This chapter is mostly the same but has been edited and added to slightly, so even if you read the first rendition of this fic, you may still want to read this chapter again.

Even before they’d turned thirteen and got their mate marks, Iwaizumi and Oikawa had always been inseparable. So it didn’t come as a shock to anyone that their names had appeared on each other’s wrists the evenings of their thirteenth birthdays. What came as a surprise was the second name that came with it: Kyoutani Kentarou. 

Triads weren’t all that rare as they had once been, but their parents still hadn’t been expecting it. It was shocking enough to Iwaizumi’s father that his son’s mate was a boy, but two boys? It had been hard for him to accept that his only son wouldn’t have soulmates that would provide him with children. But at least Iwaizumi already had Tooru, a known evil around the Iwaizumi household. 

The years passed for them quickly; they’d known each other since they were five-years-old, so the days just continued like any other day. Except now they were mates, bound together forever. Nothing could ever break them apart. 

But as Oikawa fell harder and harder for Iwaizumi, he started hating the other name on his wrist more and more. 

Usually triads happened when a set of soulmates wouldn’t fully be able to take care of each other’s needs. A third person would be thrown into the mix, completing them and filling the cracks their other two would have been left with without them. Oikawa resented that. There was nothing that he couldn’t provide for Iwaizumi. They were perfect together and they didn’t need this Kyoutani to “improve” their already perfect relationship. 

By their first year of high school, Oikawa flat out decided he never wanted them to meet their third. They just didn’t need him. And he most certainly didn’t want to share his Iwa-chan with anyone else. 

It wouldn’t be until the last week of their second year that Oikawa’s world would start to crash down around him. 

 

 

Practice had just let out for the day, but Iwaizumi had been eerily quiet the whole time, they way he gets when he has something on his mind that he doesn’t want to tell Oikawa. The taller boy pouted, betting Iwa-chan’s family had decided to go on some summer holiday vacation at the last minute, which would leave him alone the entire three months of their summer break. His mom was usually absent all summer since she ran one of the largest textile companies in Japan, and it was always way too lonely when he was left without Iwaizumi to keep him company. 

But still, he let his mate stew until they were on their regular path home. 

“Just spit it out already, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa hummed, a playful smile on his face, hoping it would help loosen those tightly pursed lips. Iwaizumi just looked at him for a moment, though, as if he was trying to read deep down inside him. Like he was trying to figure out just how Oikawa was going to react to whatever he had to say. The look drove him nuts within seconds though. He snapped at Iwaizumi with his fingers, trying to draw him out of his thoughtful gaze. “Iwa-chan, focus.” 

“I met him.” Iwaizumi blurted out, the words leaving him in a rush. 

Oikawa just raised a brow though, clearly confused. “Who?” The way Iwaizumi stopped abruptly to grasp him by his shoulders startled the hell out of him. It wasn’t that he didn’t like being touched by his soulmate, but it was just the suddenness of it all. 

“Kyoutani Kentarou.” The name sent a shockwave through Oikawa. Iwaizumi didn’t even seem to notice though, since he was continuing. “He’s kind of rough around the edges, but he’d really a sweet guy, Oikawa. I told him we could meet up with him this weekend, so we can get the two of you introduced. He actually looked pretty excited when I told him that I’d already found you, which is apparently rare for him. Yahaba sort of acted like it was the second coming of Christ when he smiled. Like he never thought it would happen or something.” Iwaizumi just grinned as he continued, a wide smile that Oikawa hadn’t seen for ages. “So I told him we’d meet him at the movies or something.” 

It took Oikawa a moment to even process what Iwaizumi was saying to him. His stomach was twisting with a sick sense of dread and jealousy at the thought of his soulmate meeting the… other. The thought of soon having to share the man he’d had to himself his entire life made him want to be sick all over the sidewalk. 

“No!” Oikawa jerked back from Iwaizumi, stumbling for a second before he caught himself. “No, I’m not meeting him, Iwaizumi.” The name felt heavy on his tongue, he couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t called his mate by his nickname. But he was just overwhelmed by the emotional vortex swirling inside of him, throwing him off of the normal balance he tried so desperately to keep during his day-to-day life. 

“No? Oikawa, you aren’t making any sense. He’s our mate, of course you’re going to meet him.” Iwaizumi snorted, as if it was the simplest thing in the world, and for him it was. They were all three soulmates. There was no reason for Oikawa to not want to meet Kyoutani, that would just be silly. They would meet and then they’d be happy together for the rest of their lives. That’s how the whole soulmate dynamic worked. 

Oikawa shook his head, starting to walk again, this time faster than before. “I’m not meeting him, Iwa-chan. You can’t make me.” His voice was hoity and childish, like a three year old insisting that they wouldn’t eat their broccoli before leaving the dinner table. 

“Make you?” Iwaizumi looked dumbstruck, speeding up to catch up with the male. “Why would I have to make you? Tooru, just hold on!” He grabbed the taller boy by the hand, jerking him back until he stopped. Oikawa stumbled again, legs tangling, and he probably would have fallen if not for Iwaizumi catching him. “Why don’t you want to meet our mate?” He asked seriously, eyes narrowing. 

Oikawa felt his cheeks heating up, though he wasn’t sure if it was in embarrassment or anger. His hands clenched into fists at his side, loosening and tightening as he tried to form words inside his brain. “Why do we even need another soulmate, Hajime? Am I not enough for you?” He knew that he was being unfair; Iwaizumi had loved him for their entire lives. He just didn’t want to share that love. He didn’t want to look in the mirror and think to himself every day that there was going to be another man around because he was so inadequate. It had been easy to ignore the second name on his arm this far in his life, but meeting Kyoutani would be that he’d have to acknowledge all of the dark feelings that he’d had swarming inside of him for years. 

The question hit Iwaizumi like a brick wall, leaving his mouth opening and shutting with no words coming out for a moment. The words that did finally come spewing out were incredulous. “Why would you even ask that, Shittykawa? It’s not like I decided we were going to have a third. I could ask you the same question, do you think I’m not enough for you?” 

Oikawa stomped his foot, like he used to when they were little. “I’m not the one trying to bring this supposed third soulmate into our relationship. I don’t want to meet him because you are enough for me.” 

“Supposed?” Iwaizumi huffed, shoving the sleeves of his jacket up, revealing the neatly printed names on the inside of his right wrist. “His name is right there, right beneath yours. He’s our soulmate whether you want to admit it or not.” 

Oikawa pointedly looked away from the arm after it was shoved in his face. “It’s me or him.” He said stubbornly, very sure that his best friend for life would chose him in a heartbeat. Iwaizumi had never picked differently before, though Oikawa had never asked him to do something this devastating before. 

Iwaizumi looked at him with searching eyes. Oikawa was asking him to choose between his soulmates… and that… that wasn’t a choice he could make. “Tooru, don’t make me do this.” He warned, shoving his hands in his pocket. He could already feel this ache welling up in his chest at even the thought of having to make that decision, and the ache was followed by the burning feeling of bile rising up from his stomach. 

But Oikawa kept looking at him expectantly, like he wasn’t going to let this go. Iwaizumi should have known that he wouldn’t. His soulmate was one of the most stubborn people that he’d ever met in his life. Usually, that was part of his charm. 

“Iwa-chan. It’s me or Kyoutani. You have to pick, you can’t have us both.” 

Iwaizumi looked away, heart twisting in his chest. He knew Oikawa expected him to pick him, like that would be the easy choice. They’d always been there for each other; they’d always been their number ones. But that was over now. It pained him, actual agony grinding deep down to his core. His heart leapt up into his throat, and he was sure he wouldn’t be able to force himself to say the actual words. He turned on his heel, walking away. 

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa’s voice was filled with disbelief. Iwaizumi could almost hear his eyes widening and his heart pounding in his chest. He just wished that Oikawa could tell that he was clearly tearing him apart on the inside as well. 

Iwaizumi didn’t glance back, he knew he wouldn’t be able to walk away if he did. “I can’t be with someone who would force me to make that kind of decision.” 

Oikawa wasn’t sure how long he stood there, the cool breeze cutting through his jacket, bringing a chill to his skin. He hardly noticed, a pain tearing through his chest, like he was having a heart attack. His breathing quickened and he grasped at the front of his shirt, as if that would stop the heaving breaths his lungs were jerking through him. His vision blurred at it took him a moment to realize it was because of the hot tears rushing down his face. 

The crushing pain settled over him, forcing him down on his knees on the sidewalk. Oikawa had heard the stories of people dying of heartbreak when they were rejected by their mates. He wasn’t sure what it felt like to die, but the devastating pressure on his chest and the pain of the sobs caught in his throat made him feel like he may just be. 

Of all the outcomes he had predicted, this hadn’t been one of them. 

But he watched Iwaizumi go. He watched Iwaizumi give up on him. He watched Iwaizumi pick the other one. 

Kyoutani Kentarou. 

Oikawa hated him. 

 

 

The last practices of the year came and went. They said goodbye to the graduating third years, and Oikawa was made the new Captain of the volleyball team, with Iwaizumi as his Vice. Oikawa was easy to read, he wasn’t really happy or excited about any of it, though the team noticed that Iwaizumi wasn’t really acting any different, apart from totally ignoring Oikawa. 

Nobody pushed the pair, though. Not until a week after graduation, when Oikawa called Matsukawa out of the blue. 

“I want to go out.” Oikawa blurted the words before Mattsun even had a chance to say hello. The response took a moment, as if the man on the other line was a little surprised by how eager his new captain sounded to get out of the house. “Mattsun.” Oikawa said the boy’s nickname, trying to snap him out of it and get him to answer. 

“Why aren’t you calling Iwaizumi?” Mattsun replied, his voice slightly staticy. It was normal, he didn’t live in an area with the best cell phone reception. 

Oikawa groaned, flopping over on his stomach. He was laying in bed, legs tangled in his sheets. “Look, it doesn’t matter. Are you busy?” He was trying to keep the subject very far from his… from Iwaizumi. He didn’t want to think about him, he’d cried enough over him in the past two weeks. Going out was about getting over him, so he wasn’t going to talk about him no matter who asked. 

“No, I guess not.” Oikawa could hear Mattsun shifting. “Where are we going?” 

Oikawa sighed, he hadn’t even thought about that yet. He’d just gotten the urge to run, or drive until he didn’t recognize where he was anymore. But that wasn’t the type of thing that he could just do all on his own. “Look, I don’t care. You can pick. I just gotta get out of here for a while.” He looked at his clock. “I’ll be there to get you in like… half an hour.” 

On the other line, Mattsun sighed. “Yeah, okay.” Oikawa hung up after that, not in the mood for any of the man’s other potential questions, which was very contradictory, since he also wanted to sit in the car with the man for hours if possible. 

Oikawa was there sooner than he said he was going to be, sitting outside of Mattsun’s house, the music in his mother’s car vibrating the seats from the loud volume. It wasn’t old enough to drive yet, but as long as he didn’t get caught, it’s not like it really mattered anyways. And despite the fact that night was fast approaching, he had a pair of shades on, attempting to look indifferent as his friend slipped in the seat next to his. 

“Where to?” 

“Just drive.” Mattsun asked as he buckled up and leaned the seat back, since he was too tall to sit upright comfortably. 

“Yeah.” Oikawa didn’t have to be told twice, hitting the gas and sending the car lurching forward way above the speed limit. He soon found himself on the highway, the thrum of the music pumping through his veins, the speed of the car making him feel more alive than he had in weeks. Mattsun eyed him from the other front seat, just relaxing back and letting Oikawa drive. 

He wove in and out of traffic like a mad man, dodging cars and speeding as fast as the car would let him go. Mattsun had finally had enough though, leaning forward to flip the music off. 

“Oikawa, slow down.” He spoke seriously, and the car wobbled a little bit as the new captain hit his brakes, slowing until he was going _just_ above the speed limit. “What’s all this about?” He and the other new third years were close to Oikawa, but Matsukawa was the only one who could ask him personal questions like that. Other than Iwaizumi, for course. But Oikawa was sure he’d already lost him forever. 

Before he knew it, little tears were pricking at his eyelids, blurring his vision slightly as they started rolling down his cheeks. “Iwa-chan met our third.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “Kyoutani Kentarou.” 

“I fail to see the problem.” Mattsun hummed, leaning back in the seat, hands bracing behind his head. He didn’t mention the crying - Oikawa wouldn’t want him to and they were already talking about what seemed to be a sore subject. 

“He asked me to meet him but I…” Oikawa lifted one hand from the wheel, using the heel of his palm to rub at his eyes. “I don’t want to meet him. Iwaizumi and I don’t need a third, we’re fine just the way we are.” 

“He’s your soulmate, Oikawa. I mean, I usually don’t make a habit of telling you what to do, but it seems kind of shitty of you to not even give him a chance.” Mattsun pointed out, raising an eyebrow at the setter. “Did you even think about it before you said no?” 

Oikawa slammed his hands against the wheel in frustration before gripping it tightly again, making his knuckles go completely white. “He’s not my fucking soulmate, Iwa-chan is… but I tried to make him pick.” 

“You what?” Mattsun sat up quickly in his seat, looking at Oikawa incredulously. 

“I know, it was selfish of me. But it’s always just been us. Me and Iwa-chan, forever. I don’t want this third person. I didn’t ask for him.” His tone was stubborn, tongue sharp as if the universe had personally offended him by showing him that he was somehow not good enough for Iwaizumi all on his own. And in a way, it did. 

“Selfish? That’s kind of an understatement, Oikawa. What did Iwaizumi even say?” Mattsun couldn’t imagine that the ace would have been pleased. 

Oikawa looked away from the road then, bloodshot eyes meeting Mattsun’s. “He left me. He rejected me as his mate.” 

“Oikawa-” 

It happened in the matter of seconds, the car coming to an abrupt stop as it collided with something very solid. Their bodies lurched forward, only to be slammed back by their seatbelts, the movements leaving bone shattering bruises in their skin. Then the car was rolling, over and over, each movement crunching and compacting the cab in on them. 

Oikawa’s head slammed against his driver’s side window, knocking him unconscious with a sickening crack.

 

 

For the first five days after the accident, Oikawa swam in and out of consciousness, feeling almost like he was floating between the living world and his dream world. So when he first came out of it, he wasn’t sure what was real anymore and what wasn’t. 

The first thing he noticed, though, was that he couldn’t move. His chest was strapped down to the bed he was on, keeping him from sitting up. There was a tube shoved down his throat, forcing air in and out of his lungs in a way that almost immediately caused him to panic. Machines beside him began beeping loudly and he felt like his heart was about to explode out of his chest. 

He couldn’t even look around the room, a brace holding his neck in place, forcing him to stare up at the ceiling as people rushed into the hospital room. The first face he saw was his mother’s and that’s when he knew things had to be bad. He could count on one hand the amount of times Hayami Oikawa had come home early from one of her business ventures. 

One. Today. 

“Be still, Tooru, you have to calm down for your mother, okay.” Her brown eyes were misty, filled with forming tears as she placed her hand in Oikawa’s, who gripped it like it was the last thing holding him on earth. But even the light grip he could manage sent electric shocks of pain through his body.

A masked man appeared at his mother’s side, and he felt something heat up his veins, making everything around him look like it would feel fuzzy to the touch. The last things he saw were the tears starting to slip down his mother’s cheeks before everything went black again. 

 

 

Things were better when he woke up again. It had been over a week since the accident. The tube was removed from his throat, letting him breathe on his own. The cuts on his face and arms had scabbed over, healing up nicely. But Oikawa woke up alone, the room he was in was dark, shadows casted around.

He still couldn’t sit up, his back was strapped down to some sort of brace, keeping it flat and straight. There was a bit of pain there, but nothing that he couldn’t handle. The neck brace was gone though, allowing him to look around the room. To his left, there was nothing interesting, just the door leading out to the hall, and another leading to an in-room restroom. To his right, though, there was a couch with a curled up mass on it, huddled under a pile of blankets. 

Maybe he wasn’t alone as he thought. 

“Mom?” Oikawa’s voice surprised himself, it sounded like he’d been gargling glass or barbed wire. He supposed it was from having a tube shoved down it for so many days. “Mom, is that you?” He tried again, though his voice was quiet, not able to muster up the energy to speak any louder. 

The figure sat up, though, body jerking at the sudden alertness it was feeling. The blankets fell away, revealing a sleepy Matsukawa. Other than the deep cuts that were stitched shut on his face and left arm, he looked relatively okay. He wasn’t in a hospital bed, like Tooru, so he was sure his friend must have been in better shape than he’d been after… whatever happened that landed them in the hospital. He couldn’t really remember what had happened… they’d just been talking about Iwa-chan and his other soulmate… then everything went black. 

“Tooru, you’re awake.” Not that he wasn’t excited to see that Mattsun was okay, but Oikawa was still a little disappointed that he hadn’t woken up to see his mom again. Then again, maybe he dreamed it all, maybe she hadn’t really come home early. Maybe they hadn’t been able to reach her. It wouldn’t have surprised him if they had reached her, but she’d simply been too busy to bother with her younger, unsuccessful son. “Are you in pain? Do you need me to get a nurse?” 

Mattsun stood, walking to his bedside, though it only took him two steps to close the distance. The room wasn’t all that big. The tall man towered over the bed, leaning down slightly to grasp one of Oikawa’s hands. 

“No, Mattsun.. I’m okay.” He assured the other boy, though he wasn’t really sure how reassuring he sounded when he was literally strapped down to the bed, almost unable to talk with how raw his throat was. “Was my mom here?” 

Mattsun looked over to the empty recliner, it had a rumpled looking blanket sat in it, but was otherwise empty. “She was here when I went to sleep. She may have just stepped out for coffee. She’s been drinking it by the gallon the past few days.” 

Oikawa nodded, even though it made his neck ache a bit. That made sense. Oikawa Hayami had probably crawled out of the womb with a cup of coffee and had been happily sucking it down ever since. “Okay… Are you okay? What happened?” 

Mattsun nodded. “Oikawa, I’m not the one that got hurt. These are nothing.” He gestured to his stitches. “You ah… you were distracted and hit one of those metal guardrails because you missed the highway turning.” 

“I… hit a guardrail?” Oikawa asked, eyebrows pressing together in confusion. “When did that happen? Why am I strapped to this board? What’s going on?” His voice got more and more croaky as he asked his questions, forcing him to calm down and take a breath. The panic didn’t stop rising in him though, making his ears ring like he’d been listening to music that was way too loud for an extended period of time. 

Mattsun looked down at their hands, clenched together as if their lives depended on it. “Tooru, I shouldn’t tell you. It’s not really my place. We should just wait for the doctor to come in the morning and try to go back to sleep for now.” The dread was clear in his voice and on his face, where all of the color was draining out. 

“Mattsun, tell me, now.” Oikawa demanded, more freaked out by the fact that his friend wouldn’t tell him what happened than he thought he would have been if he’d just told him. He didn’t deal well with secrets or surprises when it came to serious things, and Mattsun’s refusal was making his heart rate rise rather visibly on the monitor beside his bed. 

“Oikawa, your…” Mattsun took a shaky breath, running a hand through his dark, messy hair. “When the car was rolling, the interior of your seat snapped… it buckled and the seat belt was holding you back against it…” 

“Get to the point…” He was becoming more worried. His seat snapped? While he was still strapped into it. 

A third voice butted in, though. A familiar female one. “Tooru, they don’t think you’ll ever be able to walk again.” The tone was cool and professional, as it had been through his entire childhood. Hayami took a sip of her coffee after dropping the bomb, making no move to comfort her son. Despite the tears he thought he saw in the days prior, his mother was still her cool, indifferent self. 

She stood there, just like that, as Oikawa’s entire world crashed down around him for the second time that month. 

 

 

The next month and a half passed by in a blur of medical terms and physical therapy. The reality of it all still hadn’t sunk in completely for Oikawa - He was paralyzed from the waist down. He’d never walk again. Never play volleyball again. Never serve for Iwaizumi again. He’d never beat Tobio-chan in an official match. 

No, it was a reality that Tooru couldn’t accept until he finally got home. His mother just noted that she was thankful that their build had elevators, so she wouldn’t have to bother with moving. Then she left for Tokyo again, since she’d already taken too much time off from her business empire to deal with her failure of a son. Instead, she just left him with their new in-home nurse without a care.

She’d cook for him, clean for him, bathe him… and even help him into his stupid wheelchair. 

Oikawa didn’t hear a word from Iwaizumi, and he couldn’t bring himself to initiate contact. If Iwa-chan hadn’t wanted him after his outburst, then he definitely wouldn’t want him now. Not when he was broken, like an old toy locked away in the bottom of the toy box, out of view of the rest of the world. Forgotten for newer, better toys. 

Mattsun came over more often than not, sometimes bringing Hanamaki with him, as if the increased amount of company would make Oikawa feel better. He felt like a geisha, painting on a face for them, putting on a good show of “okayness” before they walked back out the door. Then he would strip himself of his second face, left alone with his thoughts in the condo that seemed smaller and smaller with each passing day. 

At night, laying in his bed, he found himself pulling up Iwaizumi’s contact more often than not. He’d stare at the goofy smile his best friend had thrown at the camera. They’d gone to his favorite restaurant that day, the one that served the best Agedashi tofu in town. Sometimes he’d just feel an all consuming emptiness fill him from head to toe, other times he wouldn’t be able to stop the tears from running down his cheeks. Either way, he’d never call. 

Iwa-chan had Kyoutani. They didn’t need broken Oikawa when they had each other. 

 

 

Iwaizumi had been worried all summer. Oikawa not talking to him for so long was unheard of. He’d even run up his parents long distance bill that one year that they spent almost the entire summer in his mother’s home country - India. But with the way they had left things, he’d had to stop himself from calling Oikawa almost every night. 

He and Kyoutani had gotten to know each other very well over the summer. He was a wild kid, showing up at his house most of the time with new cuts or bruises. Iwaizumi only asked once, but was completely shot down instead of actually being given an answer as to where they were coming from. 

Still, they got along. He learned that Kyoutani loved dogs, and would positively melt any time they saw one when they were out. He couldn’t help but to think that Oikawa would have thought it was as endearing as he did. Kyou didn’t really react as well to people, though. He didn’t seem to like anyone except Iwaizumi, which was another soft spot that he didn’t really like to talk about. 

But, no matter what they did, everything seemed to come back to Oikawa. It just didn’t feel complete without his geek of a best friend by their sides. Iwaizumi wanted to give him his distance, though, so he didn’t feel crowded. 

It was the last straw when Oikawa didn’t show up for the first day of the new term, though. It was one thing to avoid Iwaizumi all summer, but blowing off school just because of their fight? Now that was totally unacceptable. He forced himself to wait through the whole day, his worry soon turning to anger. He almost forgot to grab Kyoutani before he stalked his way to the bus station, Oikawa’s apartment building being his final destination. 

“Where are we going?” Kyoutani’s voice was a little grumbly, the way it got when he thought they were around way too many people. But crowds tended to give him anxiety, and anxiety tended to make him irritable and snappy in an attempt to hide the fact that he was anxious over anything. 

Iwaizumi’s hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his uniform pants, clenching and unclenching in anger. “Shittykawa’s place. He ditched school today. Like it’s the first day of school. What the hell is he thinking?” 

Kyoutani grimaced. He wasn’t really sure about meeting Oikawa. The guy’s name had been etched into his skin for years now, but from what he’d been told, he was seriously just the world’s biggest asshole. Not to mention that he hadn’t wanted to meet him in the first place. His normal scowl became… scowlier, if that was possible. 

“He didn’t want to meet me.” 

“He doesn’t get a choice anymore. It’s not only his life that he’s fucking up.” Iwaizumi retorted, pulling Kyoutani from the train as they reached the correct stop. From there, it was only a short walk to the massive, fancy building that Oikawa lived in. His mother basically rented the flat just for him to live there. Iwaizumi couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen her since her husband died when he and Oikawa were nine. 

Kyoutani kept quiet as they walked the rest of the way, not talking until they were riding up in the elevator to Oikawa’s floor. “Look… I mean… Maybe I shouldn’t be here, Iwaizumi.” He mumbled, looking down at his feet. 

Iwaizumi slipped a hand from his pocket, taking Kyoutani’s gently. The blonde’s head jerked up, darkly lined eyes searching Iwa’s. “You belong here. We’ll make him see that, don’t worry.” Iwaizumi promised as they stepped out into the twelfth floor. His feet seemed to move on their own to Oikawa’s door. He unlocked it with the key he’d had since they started middle school. But he was apparently not the one that Oikawa had been expecting. 

“Mattsun? You’re early. I’ll be right out.” Oikawa called from his bedroom, the fakeness of his excited yell clear to both of his soulmate’s ears. They decided not to correct him, though Iwa was more than slightly confused as to why Tooru would think Matsukawa would be coming over. 

They both nudged their shoes off by the door before taking a seat on the couch - Iwaizumi just plopping down while Kyoutani sat down more gingerly, looking as nervous as a wolf in another alpha’s territory. They waited in silence, not wanting to make it known that they definitely were not the guy Oikawa was expecting. 

An electric sound came from the hall, almost sounding like some sort of remote control car…. but bigger. Kyoutani threw Iwaizumi a confused look, but the older boy merely shrugged. He did lean forward, arching his neck to try to get a faster look at Oikawa. He had so many things he wanted to tell that boy. 

But they all quickly vanished from his head when the source of the noise was revealed: an electric wheelchair. 

Both boys were out of their seats in seconds, three pairs of wide eyes staring between each other. 

“Oikawa…” Iwaizumi’s voice was full of shock, not quite believing what he was seeing. But there he was: Oikawa was dressed in one of his dorky UFO t-shirts and a pair of grey sweatpants, blue socks with little plants on them covering his feet. 

“Iwa-chan…”


	2. All I Ever Wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! This chapter is mostly the same but has been edited and added to slightly, so even if you read the first rendition of this fic, you may still want to read this chapter again.

Life had never been easy for Kyoutani Kentarou. He was fairly sure he was an accident, his parents just weren’t the type of people who would want kids. Or even be allowed to have kids, for that matter. His dad was a big guy who spent his days working construction and his nights drinking until he finally blacked out. His mother left them after she got back into drugs when he was three. He could hardly remember what she looked like any more. His father had burned all the pictures of her shortly after she left. Sometimes, he wondered if she was even still alive out there. 

Kyoutani was four when his father first laid hands on him. He couldn’t really remember what had happened to finally make the man snap, but he would never forget the feeling of the first time he was hit with one of those bone rattling smacks. Back then, there had been no one to ask what happened to him; no one to ask why the left side of his face was covered in a large, hand shaped bruise. 

There was no one around to tell him that it wasn’t normal for his dad to get piss drunk and beat the hell out of him. 

So he dealt with it, buying his own first aid kit once he saved up enough money from walking the neighbor’s dogs. He patched himself up, patched his dad up once he passed out, and got the old man into bed. Or at least on the couch, since there were a lot of stairs between the living room and the bed. 

As he got older, the beatings only seemed to get worse. He assured his teachers at school that his home life was fine, though. He wasn’t the only one that needed help in that house, and despite the hitting and the yelling and the many many beer bottles he’d had thrown at him, Kyoutani knew his father wouldn’t be able to survive without him. He’d drown in a pool of his own vomit… or shoot himself. 

The man had threatened to do it more times than he could count. Most days, Kyoutani walked into the house trembling, not because he was scared for himself, but because he was afraid of finding a corpse on the floor and becoming an orphan. 

So usually Kyoutani just begged his father to hit him instead. Most of the time, that worked; other times his father took it much further than just hitting him. There were sometimes when his father would tell him he was pretty, just like his mommy had been. He never told anyone about what happened in his bedroom those nights. He just kept the pain to himself. 

But as time went on and Kyoutani started middle school, he got a bit smarter about the way he did things. He’d stay out late, with the excuse of extra volleyball practice - even though he tended to skip the practice and go hang out at the volunteer animal shelter downtown - and come home once his father was already passed out. He’d come home after midnight, drag his dad up to bed, and then go to bed himself. But sometimes he didn’t say out late enough. 

Those nights were the worst. They held black eyes, bruised ribs, busted lips, and a violated body… they caused stares and limps the next day at school. They started the loud gossiping through the halls. Middle schoolers weren’t as naive as elementary schoolers. They talked, their whispers and not so hidden stares accusing him of so many things. 

_”Did you know Kyoutani is in a street gang?”_

_“I heard he got jumped by some assholes on his way home last night.”_

_“I heard his dad beats him and his mom is some kind of crack whore.”_

After those rumors, Kyoutani started hitting his father back. 

 

 

The day Kyoutani turned thirteen, it was snowing. A white blanket seemed to cover the entire area, making the sidewalks slick and causing schools to cancel their classes. He didn’t dare stay home that day, though. He went to the volunteer shelter, helped them with the dogs like he always did, spent some time dreaming about what it would be like to be a dog. They were so carefree, happy as long as there was food in their tummies and a hand petting their heads. 

The staff there had known him since he turned eleven, the minimum age required to volunteer. They were waiting for him with cake and candles, something they knew the kid would never get at home. They really considered the shelter to be his home more than his actual house. Most of them knew about the way he was treated there, though it was taboo to talk about it. A few had offered help, only to be declined. 

Kyoutani was surrounded by the little old lady that ran the shelter, as well as the older teenagers that tended to help out after school and on the weekends, when his soul mark formed on the inside of his wrist. Two names. The first was written in nice, neat writing, looking like the owner of said handwriting had worked on perfecting it for hours. “Oikawa Tooru”. The second was less neat, but far from sloppy. It just looked like something someone had formed naturally after years of writing. Kind of quirky, with short, slightly slanted letters. “Iwaizumi Hajime”. 

Two names. Two soulmates. It used to be rare, but no so much anymore. The world was getting bigger, so triads were becoming more widely known. 

For some reason, Kyoutani didn’t think it made him a freak or anything. It made him overwhelmingly excited, because after all he’d been through, he would eventually have _two_ people that would love him unconditionally. Hajime and Tooru. It was the first time he’d cried in a long time. 

He couldn’t wait to meet them. 

His father wasn’t so impressed though, looking at the names written on Kyoutani’s arm with disgust. 

“Of course you’d turn out to be a fucking faggot on top of a useless son.” 

It was the first time that Kyoutani had ever thrown the first punch. Insulting him was fine, he could handle that. But insulting his soulmates? He wouldn’t allow that. 

 

 

When he got into high school, the beatings from his father slowed, becoming few and far between. Kyoutani was grateful for that, but the beatings that did occur were always horrible, leaving him beaten and broken, sometimes unable to move from the spot where his father finally let him drop. The man also stopped visiting his room at night, now that his body was beginning to look more masculine with puberty and all. 

The night before tryouts for the volleyball team, however, his dad vindictively broke his arm. Kyoutani decided it may be good for him to take a year off, try out his second year. He’d used the time to get stronger, become a player that his team could use. But mostly, he spent his time hopping from couch to couch, staying as far away from his father’s house as possible. 

If he was forced to come home, he’d climb in through his second floor window, scaling the trellis that had been long forgotten and overgrown with vines. He’d hide there in silence until his father left for work in the morning, always desperately hoping that the man wouldn’t open his bedroom door to check for him. He was always cornered in those situations, with no place to run or hide, just forced to take whatever sick beating the man saw fit to force upon him. 

Mostly, though, he stayed with Yahaba. The other boy was also a first year and was in his class, though he had actually tried out for the volleyball team rather than skipping a year like Kyoutani had. 

Yahaba was pretty boring, usually only wanting to study or practice, but boring was refreshing in Kyoutani’s life. If it wasn’t for the names on his wrist, he could actually see himself dating Yahaba, but they’d both decided to wait until they met their soulmates. So they just became really close friends instead, Yahaba helping Kyoutani out with his rapidly developing social anxiety and anger issues; Kyoutani knocking the hell out of anyone who dared to hurt Yahaba’s feelings. 

It was late spring, a week before school was due to end, when Yahaba burst through the bedroom door, looking around urgently for Kyoutani, only to find him curled up under a massive pile of blankets, reading from his history book so he could finish his final paper. 

“Dude, so you know how I asked you that one time who your soulmate was? And you just told me to drop it? Well, I’m so not dropping it anymore.” Yahaba clambered onto the bed, plopping down on Kyoutani, a leg on either side of the man, effectively pinning him to the bed beneath his weight. 

“Yahaba, what the hell?” Kyoutani grumbled, trying to roll the boy off of him, but Yahaba was one of those creepily graceful people that had incredible balance. He wasn’t going anywhere. 

“You have two names on your arm, right? You’re part of a triad?” Yahaba insisted, getting a glare from the boy beneath him. He was immune to the famous Kyoutani Glare™. He’d gotten it more than once daily since they became friends, so it slowly just became completely ineffective. 

“Why do you even care all of a sudden?” The mumble answered Yahaba’s question though - he was saying yes without really saying it. 

“Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru.” Yahaba almost fell over as Kyoutani sat bolt upright, but he scrambled a bit, grabbing at the firm chest. He managed to stay sitting in his lap, though it felt a little close for comfort with those intense eyes staring into his own. Yahaba could have easily fallen for those eyes, but he knew that they weren’t meant for each other. 

And he knew the two guys Kyoutani was meant for. 

“You peeked didn’t you?” Kyoutani’s voice was hard, almost like a growl but not quite. “You promised not to look at them.” Kyoutani would never hurt a fly, especially after what he’d gone through in his childhood, but for a moment Yahaba swore Kyoutani was about to punch him right in the face. 

His mouth gaped for a second before he snapped it shut again with an audible clicking sound. “Dude, no. I just happen to _know_ Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru. And if you weren’t such an asshole, I probably could have figured this all out sooner and you’d have met them like… the second week of school.” 

“You know Iwaizumi and Oikawa?” Kyoutani’s tone was disbelieving, eyes narrowing slightly. “But there isn’t an Iwaizumi or an Oikawa in our class. I’ve checked.” 

“That’s because they’re not in our class. They’re second years on the volleyball team.” Yahaba said in a matter of fact tone. “They usually keep their soulmarks covered, like a lot of people our age, but I just happened to see Iwaizumi’s in the locker room today. And he’s totally down to talk about things like that, because he just likes being straightforward. He says it just makes things easier or something but whatever. Either way, I’ve been playing volleyball with both of your soulmates for an entire school year.” 

Kyoutani laid back on the bed again, causing Yahaba to pitch forward slightly, their chests resting against each other in a horizontal position now. Yahaba blew his bangs out of his face, giving Kyoutani a look that simply said “really?”. 

“You think it’s seriously them?” Kyoutani mumbled after a second, head tilted so the left side of his face was smashed into one of Yahaba’s pillows. 

“No, I’m sure it’s just another Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru looking for another Kyoutani Kentarou.” Yahaba deadpanned, looking up at Kyoutani through his lashes. “I told Iwaizumi-senpai that I’d introduce you guys after practice tomorrow, as long as you agreed to it.” 

“Tomorrow?” Kyoutani looked slightly panicked. Everything was just moving so fast. Yahaba knew his soulmates. They were willing to meet him _tomorrow_. The people he’d been waiting for, the ones he was told would love him unconditionally for the rest of his life. He wondered what they were like and if they’d really like him. He knew he wasn’t the easiest person to be affectionate with. Hell, his only friend was Yahaba, and that was because the idiot just wouldn’t let him go. 

“Yeah, Kyoutani. Tomorrow.” Yahaba was starting to feel sleepy. Practice had been long and hard that day, and Kyoutani’s warm body beneath him always seemed to put him straight to sleep. Kyoutani may not look like it to most people, but he was basically the world’s best cuddle pillow, in Yahaba’s books at least. 

Kyoutani was starting to feel his self doubt creep up on him, though. He let his fingers slip through Yahaba’s soft hair as he started up at the ceiling of the bedroom he’d been crashing in for at least two months now. “What if they don’t like me? I mean, I’m not really an easy person to like.” 

Yahaba swatted at his hands, nose wrinkling. “They’ll like you, dumbass. They’re your soulmates.” He snorted suddenly, a smile on his lips. “They’re like genetically hardwired to deal with your bullshit, bro.” 

“You sure?”

“Positive. Now sleep. You know I hate it when my pillow talks.” Yahaba grinned against Kyoutani’s chest, only to get shoved to the other side of the bed. He laughed loudly, soon joined by his best friend’s deep chuckle. “It’ll be fine, you’ll see.” 

 

 

It was _not_ fine. Kyoutani was sweating bullets and trying to look natural as he waited outside the gym where volleyball practice was being held. He’d tried to distract himself during most of the practice but there was just no keeping his mind off of the meeting. He was going to meet his mates. Probably in less than ten minutes. 

It felt like butterflies were tying knots in his organs, making him feel like he was about to throw up or something. He felt like running, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. So, instead, he spent the last remaining minutes of volleyball practice kicking around dirt and assorted rocks, glaring at the ground as if it was it’s fault he was so nervous. 

He was so busy kicking at the ground that he didn’t even notice guys starting to leave the gym until the familiar weight of Yahaba hugging around his neck from behind startled him out of his thoughts. 

The boy immediately started talking, he was one of those people that could probably talk a brick wall to death. “So, Iwaizumi will be out in a second, he’s changing in the club room. Oikawa was out sick today, but you can still meet one of your mates. Anyways, Oikawa being absent might be for the best. He’s kind of an asshole… but don’t tell him I said that, okay?”

“Yahaba, are you calling my mate an asshole again?” A loud voice called from behind them and the pair turned, Yahaba deserting the hug he’d previously had Kyoutani locked in. 

“Well, I call this one an asshole all the time.” Yahaba nudged Kyoutani, making him blush slightly. 

If this was Iwaizumi he was in trouble. This guy was seriously hot. Tanned skin, brown eyes, spiky brown hair… Iwaizumi Hajime was just straight up good looking. Not to mention his arms… he could probably beat Kyoutani in an arm wrestling match. Which sort of made him want to challenge his soulmate to an arm wrestling match. 

Which was really weird. Who saw their soulmate for the first time and immediately thought, wow, I should really challenge him to an arm wrestling match? He was such a freak. It felt like a mistake that a freakish loser like him was destined to be with someone who looked so downright perfect. 

“Do you talk?” Iwaizumi gave him an amused smile and Kyoutani scowled, nodding. 

“Of course I talk.” He mumbled, looking away. He felt like he was already screwing this up, like he should have just ditched and hid in Yahaba’s bedroom that afternoon. But then Yahaba would probably murder him right then and there for being such a damn pussy about everything. Yahaba stepped in then, ever the helpful companion. 

“Iwaizumi, this is Kyoutani Kentarou. He talks, but he’s kind of a dick, so it’s really better if he keeps his mouth shut.” Yahaba teased, only to get an elbow to the side from Kyoutani along with one of those sharp glares that made most people shake in their boots. Honestly, he just thought it was kind of cute at this point. It reminded him of a fussy puppy who just wanted to be left alone with it’s chew toy. 

Iwaizumi just looked amused though, hands shoved deep in his pockets. “Sounds like he and Oikawa will get along great then.” 

“Is Oikawa a dog?” Yahaba winked. 

“What? Dude, you know Oikawa.” 

“It’s a joke, because Kyoutani usually only gets along with creatures of the canine variety.” Yahaba snickered and this time Kyoutani just put him in a headlock. 

“Will you shut up?” He grumbled before looking to Iwaizumi, his cheeks bright red. “I ah… I like dogs. But I’m… well… I’m sure Oikawa and I will get along. He’s one of my soulmates, afterall.” 

“Alright, alright.” Iwaizumi jerked his head in one direction. “If you can ditch Yahaba, I’ll go buy you a coffee or something and we can talk for a bit.” 

Yahaba didn’t need to be told twice, bidding the pair farewell before Kyoutani even had a chance to tell him to get lost. He and Iwaizumi ended up getting ice cream instead of coffee, because neither really liked coffee all that much, though according to Iwaizumi, it was dangerous to talk to Oikawa before his morning coffee. 

The went for a walk in the park, Kyoutani stopping to pet every single dog the passed. Iwaizumi always took a moment to snap a picture of him when he was distracted, though he refrained from sending them to Oikawa just yet. He wanted to actually talk to him before just bombarding him with images and texts about their third soulmate. The night ended with Iwaizumi walking Kyoutani to Yahaba’s house, which he thought was kind of strange but didn’t question. They made plans for the weekend, though, when Kyoutani would meet Oikawa and they’d go on their first real date as a triad. 

Neither of them could wait.

 

 

Kyoutani was more than a bit nervous when he got off the train at the station where he was supposed to be meeting Oikawa and Iwaizumi for their first date. He’d never even met Oikawa before, which was seriously grating on his nerves. He thought about running, but he wouldn’t do that to them.

It wasn’t hard to spot Iwaizumi in the crowd, something inside Kyoutani was sure he’d be able to find his mate in any crowd. His blood ran cold when he noticed the spiky haired man was waiting for him alone, though. He looked grumpy, hands shoved deep inside his jacket pockets, like he didn’t quite want to be there. 

Taking a few deep breaths, Kyoutani finally calmed himself enough to approach the older boy, a small forced smile on his lips. 

“Iwaizumi.” He greeted the man with a small wave, though he immediately felt kind of stupid doing it. Did people wave like that, still? He was just so socially inept when it came to things like that. Really the only people he interacted with on a regular basis were Yahaba or old ladies. And his teachers, but they didn’t really count, because they all assumed he was some kind of ruffian. 

“Kyoutani.” Iwaizumi smiled easily at him in a way that made his cheeks burn. He shoved his hands deeper in his pocket, trying to hide how nervous he really was. Meeting Oikawa was just… stressful. Mostly because he already knew Iwaizumi at least sort of liked him? But from what he heard of Oikawa, he wasn’t really close to anyone who wasn’t on the volleyball team. 

“So uhm…” He shuffled on his feet a bit. “Where’s Oikawa?” 

Iwaizumi’s eyes dropped, looking at the ground. “Look, about Shittykawa,” The older boy started, shrugging his shoulders. Kyoutani was a bit confused by the nickname, but he didn’t question it. Maybe it was just some sort of weird show of affection. “He’s not coming.” 

Kyoutani’s heart squeezed in his chest. Wasn’t coming? “Why?” He managed after a moment, his voice lacking the usually grumbly edge. In fact, he sounded hurt, which was something that didn’t really happen often. 

Iwaizumi looked like he really didn’t want to be in his own shoes right now, having to explain whatever was going on to his soulmate. “He doesn’t want to meet you. I don’t really know why, but Oikawa is pretty stubborn when he wants to be. It’s best if we just wait until he dislodges whatever stick he has shoved up his ass.” 

He wasn’t sure how to respond. It was like his heart had crawled up from his chest and lodged itself in his throat. Oikawa didn’t want to meet him. He was supposed to be one of the two people who’d love him forever, unconditionally. That was supposed to the the deal. 

Oikawa wasn’t supposed to reject him, certainly not without at least meeting him first. For the first time in a long while, he felt tears stinging at his eyes, threatening to roll down his cheeks. He was pathetic, of course Oikawa wouldn’t want someone like him. He was broken, damaged goods. He shouldn’t have been surprised that he was left standing there with just Iwaizumi. 

What did surprise him was the two strong arms wrapping around him, pulling him into Iwaizumi’s chest. His face came to rest in the crook of his neck, and he felt the older boy nuzzle into the top of his head, nose buried in the short hair. 

“Don’t cry.” Iwaizumi whispered against his hair, hugging him tightly. Kyoutani felt like he was completely immersed in the warmth and protection of his soulmate, like nothing bad could ever happen to him while he was in Iwaizumi’s arms. “Oikawa will come around. I think he’s just worried about having to share me with someone. We’ve known each other since we were kids, and this is a big change for him. I’ve already told him I won’t be made to pick between the two of you. I’m just as much your mate as I am his.” 

Kyoutani nodded, the movement fast and jerky. He still didn’t quite understand why Oikawa refused to met him, but at least he still had Iwaizumi. 

 

 

Even after school ended and they were left with summer break, Oikawa still refused to meet him. It was a hit to Kyoutani’s self confidence, but on the bright side, Iwaizumi was basically glued to his side. They spent most days together, sometimes with friends like Yahaba or Iwaizumi’s friend Hanamaki. But mostly, they just did cute couple things, which was weird to Kyoutani at first, but he slowly got used to it. 

He especially loved it when they went for walks in the park. Iwaizumi never complained when he stopped to pet a dog, or when they had to take the long way around so he could avoid the children’s play area. When they were in public, Iwaizumi was careful to stay close to him when they were around large crowds, knowing that they made him nervous. 

Overall, Iwaizumi was just the perfect gentleman and soulmate. All of his attention made it easier for Kyoutani to forget how Oikawa had rejected him and still refused to meet him, if only for a little while. It made it easier to deal with the way his father had started beating up on him again. Yahaba’s family took a vacation in the middle of the summer, forcing him to stay with his dad unless he wanted to couch surf. 

He thought about asking Iwaizumi if he could stay with him, but Kyoutani didn’t want to be forced to explain his homelife. Most people wanted him to press charges against his father, or call social services, but he really just wanted to forget about it all. He only had two years before he could leave it all behind him and go to university, so he just… he decided against telling Iwaizumi. About any of it. He didn’t want to scare his mate off or to let him in on the fact that he was destined to be with someone who was basically just damaged goods. He’d been rejected by one of his soulmates already. He would drop dead before he would lose the other one. 

Iwaizumi only asked him about the cuts and bruises once, and they’d had their first fight as soulmates. Kyoutani refused to tell him about his father, and Iwaizumi didn’t want to let it go if someone was hurting his mate. 

They didn’t talk to each other for days after that, but then Iwaizumi decided to drop it, though Kyoutani wasn’t really sure why. He was thankful, though, because their dates resumed with them going out daily until just a few days until school started back up. 

 

 

The first day of school made Kyoutani nervous again. Over their break, Iwaizumi had talked him into joining the volleyball team, which meant he would be forced to meet Oikawa, whom was the captain that year. But he’d managed to go the entire day without once running into Oikawa, the gorgeous, intimidating setter that was supposed to be his mate but was apparently too good for anyone except Iwaizumi. 

Iwaizumi was in a terrible mood when he made it to the front gates after school. He had a hand around his wrist, dragging him off before Kyoutani could even say a word. The tight grip made him nervous, reminding him of how his father used to grab him and drag him up the stairs for a beating. He had to focus on the fact that this was Iwaizumi to keep from having a full blown panic attack, just studying the other’s face as they trudged along. They were at the bus station and swiping their passes before he even knew what was going on, but Iwaizumi looked mad, and he wasn’t about to start a fight. 

He felt a little put out their they were taking the bus in the middle of the afternoon, though. All the seats were packed except a couple in the back. There were kids and parents all over the place, making it loud and causing Kyoutani’s anxiety to spike. He pressed close to Iwaizumi in their seat, hand worrying at the edge of his uniform jacket. 

“Where are we going?” He asked after a few minutes, his voice a little grumbly. 

“Shittykawa’s place. He ditched school today. Like it’s the first day of school. What the hell is he thinking?” Iwaizumi’s anger showed through his voice, and Kyoutani shut up for a while, because Iwaizumi was scary when he was mad, especially with his hands clenching and unclenching over and over again. The whole situation had Kyoutani on edge. 

They were going to Oikawa’s place. He was going to be forced to meet the mate that rejected him. It felt like someone had his heart in a vice like grip, keeping it from working properly. They went through a couple of stops before he finally got the balls to speak up again. 

“He didn’t want to meet me.” He said simply, his voice sounding fragile, like it did whenever they tried to talk about Oikawa. It was a very sensitive topic for Kyoutani. 

“He doesn’t get a choice anymore. It’s not only his life that he’s fucking up.” Iwaizumi snapped back, rising from his seat when they reached the next stop. The grip was back on his wrist as his soulmate pulled him from the bus. They were surrounded by tall buildings, the sidewalks filled with people, but Iwaizumi knew exactly where he was going. He’d been going there almost daily for years before their fight. 

The building they went into was huge, with a lobby that was fancier than any place Kyoutani had ever been before. He immediately felt out of place, like an outsider in a place that was forbidden for him to enter. It even had an elevator, which Iwaizumi promptly led him into, having let go of his arm when they were walking down the street. Nerves ate at his insides, like bugs swarming and chewing at any bit they could get to. It was enough to make his shoulders fold in in an attempt to make himself seem smaller. 

“Look… I mean… Maybe I shouldn’t be here, Iwaizumi.” He mumbled, looking down at his feet. Beside him, Iwaizumi sighed, slipping a hand from his pocket into Kyoutani’s own. Their fingers meshed together, and he gave him a comforting smile. 

“You belong here. We’ll make him see that, don’t worry.” The words were an easy promise as the pair stepped out onto the twelfth floor. They however weren’t so easy for Kyoutani to believer. 

Iwaizumi led him to a door, fumbling with his keys for a moment before letting them both inside. The living room was dimly lit and empty, piles of dvds and magazines sitting on the coffee table by the couch. 

A voice called from the other room suddenly, sounding fake in a way that was clearly detectable even to Kyoutani, who’d never met Oikawa before. “Mattsun? You’re early. I’ll be right out.” The pair exchanged a look. Mattsun? Kyoutani wondered why Oikawa would be waiting for him. 

Iwaizumi chose not to correct him, so Kyoutani took his lead, toeing off his shoes by the door before following his soulmate to the nice leather couch. Kyoutani desperately hoped he didn’t look as nervous as he felt. It almost like he was a little kid again, hanging in places where he clearly didn’t belong, where an adult could catch him at any time and punish him. He felt the urge to bolt back out the door, or hide where no one would be able to find him again, but it wasn’t as if he had either of those options. He wasn’t sure Iwaizumi would forgive him if he ran away now. 

His thoughts were cut when he heard a weird noise coming down the hall. He and Iwaizumi exchanged a look, Iwaizumi just shrugging and leaning forward, as if he could catch an earlier look at whatever was coming down the hall. 

Kyoutani was on his feet in seconds when the source of the noise was finally revealed, Iwaizumi joining him immediately. 

The first thing he noticed was that Oikawa was _pretty_ , even with his dorky UFO t-shirt and grey sweatpants. He just had some seriously good hair and a complexion that most women would be jealous of. The second thing he noticed was the fact that the _volleyball captain and setter_ was in a wheelchair. And if Iwaizumi’s response was anything to go by, he hadn’t left Oikawa that way. 

“Oikawa…” The shock was clear in Iwaizumi’s voice, his brown eyes wide as he took in the sight. 

“Iwa-chan...” The pair just stared at each other in disbelief for a few minutes. 

“What happened?” The concern was clear in Iwaizumi’s voice. 

“Who is he?” The questions were rapid fired at the same time, and Kyoutani could feel Oikawa’s eyes narrowing in on him, as if just looking at him would give him the answers he needed. 

“Oikawa, this is Kyoutani, our mate.” Iwaizumi introduced, though it was clear he was just trying to get that out of the way so that Oikawa would answer his question. 

“I told you I wouldn’t meet him, Iwa-chan. You shouldn’t have brought him here.” The words cut deep into Kyoutani, like a knife. It twisted in his gut, making him feel like he was going to be sick. A strong hand on his shoulder steadied him, and he looked up to Iwaizumi. The older boy was glaring at Oikawa, but it was very clear that he wasn’t going to let Kyoutani go anywhere. 

“He’s our soulmate and he’s going to be here whether you like it or not, you childish little brat.” 

“Childish!” Oikawa shrieked. He looked like he’d get out of the chair and throttle Iwaizumi, if he could. “Both of you go then, get the fuck out of my house.” 

Iwaizumi didn’t budge though, eyes narrowed and staring daggers into Oikawa. “We aren’t going anywhere. Not until you tell us what happened to you. Why are you in a wheelchair? Why were you waiting for Mattsun? And why didn’t you go to school today?” 

Oikawa’s eyes looked increasingly more glassy, like tears were threatening to spill from them. “Wheelchairs are generally what paralyzed people use to get around, Iwa-chan. And I was waiting for Mattsun because he keeps me company while my nurse is running errands.” 

“Paralyzed?” Kyoutani spoke before he could stop himself. Both boys turned to him before looking back at each other. 

Oikawa laughed, though the sound was self deprecating, like he couldn’t believe how stupid he was. And he honestly couldn’t. “That’s what happens when you hit a guardrail going a hundred kilometers an hour.” 

The door swung open before anyone else could say anything. In waked Matsukawa, sunglasses over his eyes. He didn’t even look into the living room as he kicked off his shoes. 

“Oikawa, sorry I’m late. I stopped at starbucks and got you that matcha tea latte thing you like though.” Mattsun looked up then, taking in the view of the living room. He winced as he saw Oikawa in his chair, Iwaizumi and Kyoutani standing in front of him. “Well, this is awkward.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts below~


	3. Say Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! This chapter is mostly the same but has been edited and added to slightly, so even if you read the first rendition of this fic, you may still want to read this chapter again.

It took exactly three seconds for all hell to break loose. Mattsun attempted to turn on his heel and walk right back out of the apartment, but Iwaizumi was on him in a second, dragging him into the living room by the collar of his shirt. Anger was rolling off of the ace in waves as he shoved Mattsun back onto the couch. It was rather startling for Kyoutani, who was honestly triggered by acts of violence like that. 

“How dare you not fucking tell me?” Mattsun could remember the last time he’d heard Iwaizumi’s voice filled with such rage, or if he ever really had before. His hands were shaking, as if he was aching to hit his friend. Not that Mattsun would blame him if he did. He’d known the risks of not telling Iwa from the beginning. But Oikawa had asked him not to, and he figured it wasn’t his business. 

“How about you ask your mate?” Mattsun shoved Iwaizumi back, though he didn’t get off the couch. He just desperately needed the other boy out of his face. 

Iwaizumi was back on Oikawa then, brown eyes narrowed in outrage. “I’ve been seeing Mattsun all summer. Mattsun who knew you were like this. And you told him not to tell me?” 

“You were supposed to move on, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa shot back, hands slamming against the armrests on his wheelchair. “If I wasn’t enough for you before, then I’m obviously not enough for you now! I’m totally broken. I can’t even do the one thing I was good at anymore.” 

Kyoutani felt a pit growing in his stomach as he listened to the argument. Surely Oikawa didn’t really think that? He didn’t think that being like this would make Iwaizumi abandon him. From what he’d learned of the older boy, he just wasn’t like that. Or maybe he was wrong? Trusting his soulmate too early simply because he was his soulmate? Was this going to come back to bite him in the ass when Iwaizumi learned he was more fucked up than the boy had ever imagined? The anxiety was blossoming in him like a flower, the roots tangling in his intestines, and the petals breaking apart in his stomach. 

Distracted by his own thoughts, he hadn’t even noticed how far the fight had escalated until a vase was suddenly launching through the air, aimed at his head. Instinctively, he ducked, only for the glass to shatter against the wall behind him. 

Fear rolled through him in waves, it wasn’t the first time something had been thrown at him, but he never expected it here. He never expected to look up and see the pure, bone chilling hate in Oikawa’s eyes. He moved before he even realized it, not noticing as the shattered glass cut into the bottom of his feet. He didn’t even stop to grab his shoes before darting out the door. 

His heart was beating out of his chest, making him feel like he couldn’t catch his breath, but he still didn’t stop running. He just kept running until he was safely back on the subway, riding it until he got to the stop closest to Yahaba’s house. Then, of course, the running began once more. With all of the adrenaline coursing through him, he didn’t feel the pain of the glass shredding the bottoms of his feet, or notice the hot, slick blood gushing from the fresh wounds. He just couldn’t stop running. It didn’t feel safe to. 

 

 

The entire room stood still after Kyoutani fled the scene, moving far faster than anyone had expected he could. Oikawa’s were were wide as he looked at the mess of glass on the floor, where he’d thrown the vase in a fit of rage. He hadn’t meant for it to almost hit Kyoutani; in fact, he’d been aiming for Iwa-chan, but the ace had quickly dodged it. 

Iwaizumi was the first to break the silence, the first to move while Oikawa was still processing the world around him. That wasn’t supposed to happen. He’d just wanted Iwaizumi to shut up for a minute. He just wanted him to realize that someone else could offer so much more than he could anymore. 

“You’re a real piece of work, Shittykawa.” It was the first time he’d ever heard the nickname said with an edge of venom instead of jokingly. It made Tooru’s heart ache and his guts twist up in knots. He couldn’t let it end this way, so he lurched forward when Iwaizumi headed for the door. 

Luckily, Mattsun was quick on his feet and was able to keep a desperate Oikawa from falling from his chair. They’d had many a grapple with the floor during the summer, since he was having a hard time adjusting to not being able to use his legs to keep himself balanced, but lately it had been happening less and less. 

“Iwa-chan, wait!” His voice was desperate, high with the need to stop Iwaizumi by any possible means. With all of the pushing away he’d done, he still couldn’t bear seeing his soulmate turn away from him like that. 

Iwaizumi turned, throwing his hands up in the air like he wasn’t sure what was even going on anymore. Dark shadows were forming beneath his eyes from stress, and his hair looked even more messy than it had originally, what with the way he kept rubbing his hands through it - almost as if he wanted to just rip it out. “Wait for what, Tooru?” He asked, finally, sounding more exhausted than he looked. 

“I just- I didn’t mean-” After a moment of stuttering, grasping at words he’d never be able to find, he was cut off. 

“Don’t say anything else, okay?” Iwaizumi shoved his hands in his pockets, looking away from his soulmate. He didn’t feel like he could handle this anymore. They’d been together forever - it was always him and Oikawa, through thick and thin. And after one stupid fight, he’d kept the biggest secret in the world from him without a second thought. He’d convinced Mattsun not to tell him either, and he speculated that Makki was probably in on it too. It was like he was on the outside of everything so suddenly, unable to trust any of those that he’d been close to in the past. The thought of it was so isolating, but it seemed now that isolating him what what Oikawa had wanted. As if he could ever fully move on and forget someone who was such a big part of him. 

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it? You wanted me to leave you behind and forget about you, to move on with our other soulmate like it wasn’t tearing me apart on the inside.” He clenched at the slightly linty lining of his pockets. “It was so easy for you to be selfish, to ask me to pick between the two people that I’m destined to spend my life with. You hurt me and you hurt Kyoutani, before you even met him. Did you even stop to think about what the rejection would do to him? Sure.. I understand you thought everything would just work out somehow, because that’s who you are, you don’t live in the details. But keeping the fact that you were so gravely injured from me? That’s just… wrong. And devastating. I can’t believe you would think that I’m so low that I’d stop loving you just because you can’t walk anymore.” 

“Iwa-chan..” 

“Do not ‘Iwa-chan’ me, Tooru. This isn’t something you can fix with words or batting your eyelashes or even kissing me. You hurt both of us more than you can ever imagine.” Iwaizumi was done talking, grabbing his keys from the coffee table, and Kyoutani’s shoes and backpack from by the door. “Sometimes I wonder if you even regret tearing us apart.” 

Oikawa felt like his heart was lodged in his throat. He couldn’t even stop Iwaizumi from walking out the door this time. He was right, before now he hadn’t regretted hurting Kyoutani, he’d only regretted the fact that he hurt Iwaizumi in the process. 

Mattsun didn’t quite know what to do as the room was left in a tense silence. The air was so thick he felt like he was trying to breathe in split pea soup. Oikawa was just left staring at the spot Iwaizumi had been standing in. Even he had felt the backlash of the verbal knife Iwaizumi drove straight into Tooru. He sighed, finally, scooping the smaller male from his wheelchair and moving him to the couch. 

He made sure his legs were propped up nicely before slipping down beside him. Without really saying anything, Oikawa snuggled down into his side, as he’d done countless times this summer. This time, instead of talking or even making tense jokes, Tooru stayed silent. Soon, Mattsun felt his shirt becoming damp with the other boy’s tears. He said nothing though, simply running his fingers through Oikawa’s soft hair and holding him closer. 

Matsukawa may have not been Oikawa’s soulmate, but they were still the closest of friends after what they’d been through together. He would make sure they got through this too, no matter what. 

 

 

Yahaba wasn’t expecting Kyoutani to burst through his room in the middle of the afternoon. Of course, the boy practically lived with him - something his parents were both totally okay and supportive of - but Kyoutani had been staying out later recently with Iwaizumi. The boy looked freaked out, like he did on the rare occasions that he was forced to see his father. 

It only took Yahaba a short moment to notice the blood he was streaking across the wooden floors. He thanked the gods that his parents hadn’t decided to renovate and put carpet in the halls like they’d been thinking of doing, because it would have been totally ruined. The worst part was Kyoutani’s eyes were so wild he wasn’t even sure he realized that he was bleeding. Yahaba was on his feet then, easily ushering Kyoutani onto his bed. 

“What the hell happened?” He demanded before rushing from the bedroom to the bathroom to get the first aid kit, and then back to his bedroom. He slammed the door behind him, which spooked his friend, making him flinch from where he was sitting on the bed. “I’m sorry, just stay still and let me look, okay?” Yahaba lowered his voice, trying to keep his best friend calm as he sat down on the floor, pulling one of Kyoutani’s feet into his lap. He winced himself when he saw the state of them. They were dirty - caked with dirt and dried blood - but tiny pieces of white glass protruded from the tough skin. 

“We went to see Oikawa.” Kyoutani answered finally, staying still as Yahaba used little alcohol pads to wipe the filth away, being careful not to mess with the shards of glass so he wouldn’t push them in further. 

Yahaba wrinkled his nose as he looked through the giant kit to find the tweezers that were hiding among little bandaids. “Oikawa did this?” His voice sounded shocked, honestly he couldn’t really believe that. Oikawa had always been a pleasant person to be on a team with, even if he was incredibly driven and kind of a diva sometimes. He just couldn’t see what Kyoutani would have done that would have set him off like this. Granted, he wasn’t super close to the new Captain, but he hadn’t expected this from him. 

“He threw a vase at me.” Kyoutani’s voice sounded a little void, as if he was still trying to completely process what had happened. If buffering had a voice, that’s what he would have sounded like. 

“Iwaizumi let him throw a _vase_ at you?” Yahaba was even more stunned by that than the fact that Oikawa had been throwing vases at people. Kyoutani just shrugged, and he took that as a sign that their conversation was on pause for now. With a sigh, he slowly started plucking the pieces of glass gently from the thick skin of Kyoutani’s feet. He made sure each tiny shard made it to his trash can, so they could avoid stepping on them again. 

The process was long, taking the better part of two hours between finding every piece of glass and cleaning up long streams of blood that spouted when he pulled the shards out. He made sure each wound was sanitized, even if it made Kyoutani wince and whimper above him. 

Yahaba felt the slow burn of rage setting in as he got closer and closer to being finished. Kyoutani would be lucky if he could walk tomorrow morning without any intense pain. Yahaba was considering just asking him to skip school and let his feet heal a bit before he tried walking all the way to Seijou. For now, though, he just bandaged them so they wouldn’t be able to bleed all over the place anymore, then he tucked Kyoutani into bed. He looked far too exhausted to even think about doing anything other than sleeping - and if his soulmate had really attacked him, he was sure sleep was what he really needed right then. 

Yahaba was sure to clean up the mess from the first aid kit, then he cleaned the floor in the hall that led to his room from the front door, making sure his mother wouldn’t see the trails of blood first thing when she got home from work. Yahaba was definitely a mom friend when it came to Kyoutani, so he made sure he got the other teen a cool glass of water to drink if he woke up from his nap, along with some crackers from the pantry. Then he took his phone and headed to the living room. 

Now, he was good at admitting when he was angry, and he was usually good at controlling himself until he was calmed down enough to have a civil conversation. But Yahaba wasn’t as good at controlling himself when it came to Kyoutani. Whether it was giving his best friend a verbal lashing for being a fucking idiot, or defending him to total assholes who felt like it was okay to bully him, Yahaba just had no chill when it came to Kyoutani Kentarou. 

Which was possibly why he dared to dial the arguably most fearsome third year at Aoba Jousai to give him a total ass reaming. Iwaizumi didn’t even get a chance to finish his confused “hello” before Yahaba was biting his head off. “Tell me just what the fuck happened today? Kentarou just stumbled into my house, scared out of his mind and bleeding all over the place. Answer me or I swear to god, Iwaizumi Hajime, I will end you.” 

If the sputtering on the other end of the telephone was anything to go by, Iwaizumi was more than a little bit surprised by the sudden verbal lashing he was on the receiving end of. He chose to bypass Yahaba’s demands completely, though. 

“Kyoutani is with you? Is he okay? He took off before I got the chance to stop him.” Yahaba could hear Iwaizumi moving in the background, like he was putting his shoes on or something. He wasn’t about to let him come and see Kyoutani, though. Not after the state of which he’d returned. Not without some answered. 

“Is he okay? Are you fucking stupid?” Yahaba stopped himself, taking a deep breath. He didn’t like cussing at his seniors, even if he was mad at them. “I just spent two hours picking shards of glass out of his feet. He walked all the way here with glass in his feet - barefoot mind you - totally freaked out like he just saw a ghost or something. He said Oikawa threw a _vase_ at him, Iwaizumi. You were supposed to take care of him.” 

Iwaizumi huffed, making static crackle through the phone. “Shittykawa threw a vase at me. He missed, though.” Yahaba wasn’t really seeing how that was any better, but he allowed Iwaizumi to continue. “I didn’t think it would be dangerous for him there, I swear. I thought we were just going to talk, maybe argue a little. I didn’t mean for things to escalate like that.” He sounded apologetic, but it just wasn’t enough. Not with Kyoutani curled up and distressed in his bed. 

“It doesn’t matter what you meant to happen. I can’t believe you would put him in a situation like that. Not after everything he’s been through. Even yelling and fighting is enough to trigger him sometimes.” Yahaba sighed, running a hand through his creampuff-esque hair. 

Iwaizumi took a pause, one that both of them could really feel through the phone. Like he was puzzled by the words he’d just heard. “What the hell are you talking about? ‘Everything he’s been through’? Triggered by yelling?” 

The confusion definitely struck Yahaba as odd, and he shifted to cross one leg over the other before replying. “Of course he’s triggered by yelling, after all the shit his dad put him through, I’m surprised he’s as stable as he is.” 

“What are you _talking_ about?” Iwaizumi’s confused voice was reaching levels Yahaba had never heard before. That’s when it struck him - of course Kyoutani wouldn’t have told him. Hell, it took him a while to tell Yahaba. They’d shared a bed for months before Kyoutani finally broke down and told him why he couldn’t go home. 

“You really don’t know.” 

 

 

 _”You really don’t know.”_ Even hours after he’d heard the words, they still rang through his head. Iwaizumi had sat on the floor by his front door as Yahaba explained about Kyoutani’s past, the one he’d been hesitant to tell his soulmate anything about the entire time they’d been dating. And now, it was clear to see why he’d been so stingy with letting go of that information. 

Kyoutani’s mom had abandoned him, and his father had beat and abused him for years before he finally moved in with Yahaba. While he knew the second year would never lie to him about something so serious, he still had a hard time believing those words. He didn’t want to think about someone taking a hand to his mate, making them suffer for so long. He didn’t want to think about how Kyoutani had probably never felt safe for a moment in his entire childhood. 

All the scars and bruises he’d seen on his soulmate’s body had no doubt come from his father’s wrath. It was all too sickening for Hajime, who’d grown up with the kindest, gentlest mother on Earth, and a father who wanted nothing more than for him to grow up to be successful and happy, even if he hadn’t quite been happy that both of his mates were boys. 

He couldn’t even imagine what it would feel like to have someone he loved so much take a hand to him. The thought was just so incredibly outrageous. 

Hajime had wanted to leave right then, to be at his mate’s side, to maybe offer some comfort after he was put through so much. But Yahaba had told him not to come tonight, that Kyoutani was already asleep and that he should just stop by and see him after school the next day. Grudgingly, he’d agreed, but only because he made Yahaba promise to call him if anything else happened. He didn’t want Kyoutani to have to go through any more pain alone. He wanted to prove to him that he could be the best mate in the world for him - that he could take care of him and make him happy. That he’d never hurt him. 

In that moment, Iwaizumi Hajime decided that he’d never let anyone hurt Kyoutani like that again. 

 

 

Oikawa didn’t know what he was doing, or why he thought doing something like this would change anything. He’d spent the entire evening curled up against Matsukawa before his friend had finally had to go home, promising that he’d be back the next day. Kirimi - his nurse - had helped him eat dinner and get to bed after he left, but since then all Oikawa could do was stare at his phone. 

He’d been looking for so long that he’d eventually had to plug it in, battery completely drained from Oikawa flipping through all his picture he’d taken with Iwaizumi over the years. He’d even transferred some from his old phone when he got the new one, not wanting to lose any of those memories. His misery had reached an all time high - he really just couldn’t stand it anymore. 

He’d never wanted to lose his precious Iwa-chan, he’d never thought the other boy would chose someone he didn’t even know over his best friend. Back then he was was jealous, afraid of losing the love of his life to someone else. It was only now that he was starting to realize how wrong he’d been. Iwaizumi would never really leave him, no matter what he’d done. 

It seemed like his soulmate had been waiting for him to pull his head out of his ass all summer, so they could be happy together. Iwaizumi didn’t even seem all that mad, well other than when he discovered that he’d made their friends keep his secret… and then when he threw the vase and scared Kyoutani. But Oikawa was sure he wasn’t really mad about the lying - he was mad because they were all hurting and Oikawa wasn’t letting him fix it. He wasn’t giving him a chance to make everything better again. 

Or at least, that’s what Oikawa hoped. He hoped they could be happy again… even if it meant sharing Iwaizumi forever with Kyoutani. But he knew it was up to him to make the first move. It was up to him to apologize and attempt to bring them back together again. 

He just hoped it wasn’t too late for that anymore. 

It was around three in the morning when he finally dialed the number he had memorized by heart. He wasn’t surprised when Iwaizumi didn’t answer. When he was finally asleep, he was pretty much impossible to wake up before he was ready. It used to be a constant struggle to get to school on time before Iwaizumi’s mom quit her job to stay home after his dad got a huge promotion at the company he worked for. 

She was the only one who ever seemed to effortlessly wake her son. 

Iwaizumi’s familiar voice rang through, telling him to leave a message. Oikawa felt his stomach tighten again, but he wouldn’t back out now. He owed Iwaizumi and Kyoutani so much more than he’d given them, even though he was a shitty person and was just realizing it now. 

“Iwa-chan.” He started before biting his tongue. It was a hard message to leave, and his throat felt like it was being squeezed, like it did when he cried sometimes. “Hajime, I really miss you. I’m sorry I just-” He stopped himself again, feeling the tears sting at his eyes. But he needed to hurry and finish the message. “I want to make this better… I want to give the three of us a chance to be happy. I was so stupid I just…” He sighed again, a little beep warning him that he only had a few moments left to finish his message. “Iwa-chan, I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, please leave your thoughts in the comments section


	4. You Found Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy~

Oikawa waited for Iwaizumi to call him back. He waited days, just staring at the walls of the small apartment that seemed far more claustrophobic than usual. He noticed every little detail that he hadn’t before - the way his caretaker cleaned everything more than twice a day because she had little else to do, the way dust seemed to gather on the top of the panels for the overhead fan since she was too short to reach them. The tick tock of the clock on the wall was enough to drive him crazy - each repetitive sound becoming louder in his ears until it was like small explosions were going off in his ears every second. 

He stopped eating, for the most part. Everything just tasted bland and flavorless, even the smoothies that Matsukawa brought him when he visited after class. Mattsun refused to answer his questions about Hajime and Kyoutani, firmly stating that he was staying out of his soulmate business from now on. Not that Tooru could really blame him. 

The night after he left the first voicemail, Oikawa had left several in succession. It was clear after a while that Iwaizumi was just not going to answer his calls, no matter how many times he tried. It seemed Iwaizumi had even turned his phone off, since the calls were going straight to voicemail. Still, he left messages, begging him to forgive him or at least answer the phone. None of the seventeen messages were returned though - honestly Oikawa wasn’t even sure Iwaizumi was opening them. He could hardly blame him if he didn’t. 

The second and third days after the incident, he kept to himself. When Mattsun came over, they simply watched movies in silence since Oikawa refused to talk and Matsukawa refused to leave. 

On the fourth day, Oikawa broke down and called the number that Iwaizumi had given him all those months ago, after he refused to meet Kyoutani for the first time. It had been his vain attempt to get him to talk to their new mate of his own volition. He’d saved it… he didn’t know why exactly he saved it but, he had. Maybe it was because he knew, one day, he’d have to stop being stubborn. Maybe it was because Iwa-chan had told him to. He couldn’t really remember now. 

As the phone rang, he started to think that he probably should have texted. Each of the little tones tied his stomach into even bigger knots. When it was finally answered, the voice on the other end was almost like a punch to the gut. He fought the urge to just hang up, hands trembling as he kept the phone pressed to his ear. 

“Who is this? It’s the middle of the freaking night.” A grumbled voice spoke through the line, and Oikawa immediately recognized it as Kyoutani. He felt his throat dry up, and he had to swallow a few times before he could actually speak again. 

“Please, don’t hang up.” Tooru’s voice was more broken than he expected it to be when he finally spoke. It betrayed all of the emotion that he’d been attempting to hold back. He was feeling utterly destroyed on the inside, and it was starting to seep through the cracks in his exterior. 

On the other end, it took Kyoutani a moment to figure out just who was on the other line. “O-Oikawa?” His voice seemed rougher to Tooru, almost like he couldn’t believe he was saying his name right now. He couldn’t really blame him, Tooru couldn’t believe that he was calling, but this was his last choice. He couldn’t do this alone anymore, even if he wanted to. 

“I’m sorry, Kyoutani… I’m so sorry.” Oikawa hardly recognized his own voice - instead of being filled with it’s usual confidence, it sounded breathy and shattered, as if he was trying to speak while someone was squeezing their hands around his throat. He felt like he’d tried to swallow a large stone, only for get to get stuck half way down. He felt tears pricking at his eyes, and he rubbed at them to keep himself from crying. “I know I shouldn’t be bothering you… but I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t.. Not alone.” 

“I won’t hang up.” The words made Oikawa sob in relief - he didn’t deserve Kyoutani’s kindness, but he thanked whoever was up there listening that he got it. 

 

Kyoutani wasn’t sure what had gotten into him. He told himself repeatedly that, if Tooru called, he wouldn’t listen to any of his apologies, not after the way the older boy treated him when they’d met. He told himself that he couldn’t allow Oikawa to worm his way into his heart in case he decided that he didn’t want him again. But then he’d heard how broken his soulmate had sounded, and every fiber of his being screamed at him to comfort and protect him. He just couldn’t ignore the pleading and the apologising, as much as he may have wanted to originally. 

He just wasn’t heartless. And when Oikawa asked him to come over when the first bus started running in the morning, he couldn’t decline. 

Kyoutani only felt about two percent awake as he approached the bus stop, thermos of coffee in his hand. He hadn’t even bothered to put on a fresh coat of eyeliner before he left the house, just cleaning up the bit that had been left over from the night before so he had a bit of a line, but not a smudgey hot mess. 

As he boarded the bus, Kyoutani unlocked his phone to send Iwaizumi a text, only to remember that he dropped his phone in the sink a few nights ago. He sent a text to Yahaba instead, who had still been snoozing when he left, letting him know where he would be in case Iwaizumi came around looking for him. He knew his mate could be a worrier sometimes, though he always tried to put up a strong front to hide it. 

Even though he’d only been to Oikawa’s flat once, it was easy enough for Kyoutani to find again once he got off the bus. He had a photographic memory, so things like that were easy for him to remember. Oikawa had still insisted on sending him the address though, “in case he got lost”. Which was nice, since it showed that Oikawa really did care if he showed up or not. 

Unlike his last time there, Iwaizumi wasn’t with him with his handy-dandy house key. So he had to knock on the door, which he always felt awkward doing. Anyone who passed by would think he looked like some sort of hoodlum that didn’t belong there. He avoided the eyes of a pair of old ladies as they passed him, though he quickly noticed that they avoided looking at him, too. He understood it would take Oikawa a minute to actually get to the door in his wheelchair, but he was mentally screaming for the other to just hurry up already, before one of those old ladies got the idea to call the cops on him or something. 

Apparently the whole eyeliner and dyed hair thing automatically made him a delinquent. Yahaba had been quick to point out that the plethora of bruises he came home with all the time and the fact that he had the personality of a slab of concrete was probably why people thought he was a delinquent. 

The door opened to Oikawa’s apartment part way, just leaving it cracked a few inches. Then a voice called from inside, “You can come on in. My stupid nurse left something in the way, so I can’t get my chair close enough to open it the rest of the way.” 

Without reply, Kyoutani simply walked through the doorway, shutting it firmly behind him before locking it. He was kind of a stickler for locking doors - Yahaba claimed he was paranoid and he hadn’t tried to argue with that because it was kind of true. 

“Hey…” Oikawa’s voice was almost bashful as Kyoutani looked down at him. It was his nurse’s day off, so he was still in his pajamas, looking rumpled from pulling himself out of bed and into his chair. It was hard work, but he’d already had a lot of upper body strength from when he was in volleyball, so he was getting used to it easier than the average patient. “Sorry I’m not dressed up or anything. I still haven’t really gotten the hang of it. Mattsun usually comes over and helps me when my nurse is off, but he hasn’t been over yet this morning.” Mostly because it was really early. Normally, Oikawa wouldn’t even be awake yet, but neither he nor Kyoutani had slept much that night, opting to spend the entire time quietly talking on the phone until Kyoutani went to catch the first morning bus. 

They’d talked about a lot that night - about how Oikawa had always had a lot of depression and self doubt that he often hid with a wall of fake confidence and an easily flipped temper. About how Oikawa’s depression had gotten even worse since the accident and how he just didn’t know what to do anymore. Kyoutani shared things with Oikawa that he hadn’t even told Iwaizumi about yet - like how his mother had abandoned him when he was young, and how his father had abused him basically ever since. They also talked about lighter things, like Oikawa’s love for Aliens and how Kyoutani volunteered at the animal shelter when he had free time. Their hours of talking had helped them understand each other better, which was why Kyoutani even considered coming over. 

To be honest, he still felt a little anxious as he stood in Oikawa’s living room, thinking about just what had happened the last time he’d been there. He wanted to trust his soulmate though. He wanted all of this to work out. 

Taking a deep breath, he gave Oikawa a little shrug. “I mean… I could help you change, if you want.” 

The suggestion was soon met with a slur of worried “we can just wait for Mattsun to come over” and “I wouldn’t want to put you out”. There was even a “I’d really rather stay in my pajamas, if it’s all the same”. But Kyoutani just snorted at him and rolled his eyes. 

“We’re mates, dumbass. It’s not like Matsukawa-senpai is going to come over and help you for the rest of your life. I, however, am here for the long haul, so just teach me how to get you dressed.” Kyoutani huffed out, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Oikawa glared up at him, opening his mouth as if to argue again before quickly snapping it shut. “You win this time, but I swear you’ll regret having to lift my fat ass.” 

“Your ass doesn’t look that fat.” Kyoutani pointed out as he followed Oikawa down the hallway, the older boy’s chair making that weird humming sound again as he used the little joystick to guide it. 

Oikawa turned his head and stuck out his tongue at his mate before pushing through his half open bedroom door, letting the front of his chair and his knees go through the effort of opening it all the way. “You only say that because I’m sitting down. I’ve probably put on a few pounds since I got myself stuck in this piece of crap.” 

“Iwaizumi and I go lifting together. I can bench almost two hundred and fifty pounds, I’m sure I can pick your scrawny ass up out of that chair.” Kyoutani assured him before quickly becoming confused at the disgusted look he earned from the ex-setter. 

“Can we not talk about him?” Oikawa wheeled himself over to the closet, sliding open the door before shifting through the clothes inside. He had everything now on what were actually pants hangers, so he could just yank at them and they’d come off without breaking. It was really convenient for when he was alone and just needed to change his shirt. 

With more force than really necessary, he yanked down a pair of black sweat pants and tossed them towards the bed. He still had jeans and stuff like that, but they weren’t really all that comfortable to sit in for long periods of time, nor were they easy for other people to help him get into. 

Sighing, Kyoutani leaned in the doorway, watching Oikawa. “Are you guys still fighting or something?” 

“It’s kind of hard to fight with someone who won’t even answer your phone calls.” With an overly dramatic huff, he pulled down one of his Grey’s t-shirts. It had a little alien head over the chest, with the team’s name printed underneath. He tossed it towards the bed as well before wheeling himself over to his dresser. 

“He dropped his phone in the sink a few nights ago when he was helping his mom with the dishes. He said he was going to message you on Facebook about it.” Kyoutani moved from the doorway to pick up the shirt that hadn’t quite made it to the bed, setting it on top of the sweatpants that were now laying in a heap. 

He was suddenly startled by the sharp sound of the dresser door being slammed shut. The wood against wood impact was so hard that it sounded like something may have cracked. Either way, it caused Kyoutani to basically jump out of his skin and whip around to look at Oikawa. Oikawa’s brown eyes were wide with shock, looking at him like he couldn’t believe what had just come out of his mouth. 

“He tried to message me on _Facebook_?” Oikawa had never felt so stupid in his life, of course he should have checked Facebook. Honestly, he’d been avoiding it since the accident. It was hard to see all the pictures of everyone having fun and enjoying their lives while he was stuck in this hunk of metal for the rest of his life. 

He reached into the little pocket that Makki had made him out of mesh and fabric glue that hung off the side of his wheelchair, whipping out his cellphone. For the first time in months, he opened his Facebook app. He had several missed messages, some from friends at school and others were from relatives that had learned about his accident from his mom. The most recent message was from Iwaizumi, though. 

_“Tooru… look. You know I’m shit with words and my feelings and I realize now that I’ve had a chance to calm down, that not all of this is your fault. We really should talk, if you’ll even talk to me, that is. Either way, I guess just let me know if you want to see me? You’ll have to message me here. I dropped my damn phone in the sink. Yes, again.”_

The message was followed by another, sent about five minutes after the first. 

_”Oh, almost forgot. I love you, you little shit.”_

They’d been sent three days ago, just sitting in his inbox waiting for him to read. He could have talked to Iwa-chan _three days ago_ , but he hadn’t even thought to check his Facebook to see if he might have been trying to message him there. He’d just been waiting by a phone that never would have rang. 

Kyoutani felt a little guilty as he watched Oikawa read over the messages. Maybe he should have mentioned Iwaizumi breaking his phone earlier, but in his defense Oikawa had never asked about him. In fact, when they were talking over the phone he seemed to thoroughly avoid even mentioning Iwaizumi unless Kyoutani brought him up. Even then he changed the topic of conversation as quickly as possible. Maybe it was something Yahaba would have picked up, but Kyoutani just really wasn’t all that good at picking up social cues like that. 

“Kyou-chan…” Oikawa’s voice sounded rather upset, like he was on the verge of crying, and before Kyoutani could be fully disturbed by his new nickname, Oikawa did start crying. Tears rushed down his face, cheeks flushing red like they tended to do when he was really emotionally distressed. Things like this were absolutely not Kyoutani’s forte, but he still rushed to Tooru’s side, giving him a hug even though that meant he was put in an awkward position to do so. 

“I-Iwa-chan doesn’t hate me!” Oikawa’s word were surrounded by hiccuped sobs and Kyoutani was honestly getting a little distressed himself. It was good that it seemed Oikawa and Iwaizumi wanted to make up, but he was going to make it very clear that all crying boys were to be rerouted to Iwaizumi from now on. He patted Oikawa’s back in a way that he hoped was soothing, but in all actuality was probably a little too hard. “I gotta go see him, Kyou-chan! I gotta go!” Oikawa was quickly turning from a sobbing mess to a frantic mess. 

Kyoutani winced. How on earth was he going to get Oikawa across town? It wasn’t like the buses were very handicapped friendly. “Do you know anyone with a car that could get us there?” Kyoutani watched the gears slowly start turning in Oikawa’s head. He gave his younger mate a sour look before nodding. 

Desperate times called for desperate measures. “Uhm… just let me make a phone call.” Honestly, Oikawa looked like he'd rather lick a dog turd than call whomever he was dialing, but Kyoutani left the room to let him do what he needed to do. He just hoped this all worked out in the end. He didn't want anyone to hurt anymore. 

He went to the kitchen and made a cup of coffee for Oikawa while he was on the phone. Kyoutani remembered Iwaizumi telling him a few times how their other mate was so addicted to the stuff, and after he stayed up all night, he figured he could probably use some before they went off on their escapade. 

It seemed like he’d just hung up the phone when Kyoutani reentered the bedroom, dorky Toy Story Alien mug filled with the nectar of life, coffee, clasped between his hands. Oikawa looked stressed, running a hand through his fluffy hair. 

“You have no idea how hard it was for me to suck it up and make that call, Kyou-chan.” He groaned dramatically, but perked up when he saw the mug. “Is that for me?” He wiggled a little, like an excited chihuahua. 

“It is. But first we have to get you dressed, since we have someone coming to get you.” Kyoutani set the mug aside on the nightstand. Quickly, Tooru picked out some clothes that would be easy for Kyoutani to get him into. Just a simple t-shirt with a flannel to go on top, since it was getting chilly, a pair of sweatpants, dorky socks with a pug face pattern, and his black slip on sneakers. 

Getting the clothes on was a challenge however. Kyoutani’s hands shook a bit as he helped where he could, though it seemed Tooru could do everything but his pants, socks, and shoes by himself. Even though he’d been so confident about it before, there was something that just scared him about being so close to someone who was half naked. It made him distinctly uncomfortable with his past and the things that his father had done to him. He was determined to not let that affect him though. 

He would take that particular secret to the grave. Even if Iwaizumi knew about the physical abuse now, if he had his way no one on earth would ever learn about the sexual abuse. He didn’t want to see the disgusted looks in their eyes when they found out how broken and used he really was. He didn’t think he could handle something like that. 

So, with a grimace, he pushed through the part where he had to replace Oikawa’s underwear and pants, both of them pointedly avoiding looking at each other while Oikawa cracked a few jokes to try to lighten the mood a bit. 

“Iwa-chan will be jealous if he finds out you removed my pants before he did.” The joke was nervous, and Kyoutani gave him a half hearted snort to try to make him feel better. The truth was that they just didn’t know each other well enough yet for the joke to actually be funny. But Kyoutani figured that Oikawa knew that when he made the joke in the first place. 

“So… Who is coming to pick us up?” Kyoutani finally asked when they were done dressing Oikawa, passing him the mug of coffee, which he happily started drinking down. Kyoutani plopped on his bed while he waited for an answer, which meant waiting for Oikawa to happily guzzle down half the mug of black coffee first. 

“Ushiwaka-chan.” Oikawa gave a sour look before he explained, because obviously Kyoutani didn’t know anyone by the bizarre nicknames Oikawa gave them. “Ushijima Wakatoshi, captain of Shiratorizawa. We used to be enemies, but we both go to the same office to see different physical therapists. Apparently he has shoulder issues or whatever, so we started hanging out before our therapy sessions because I was desperate to have contact with _anyone_.” He waved a hand in the air, as if to signal that those details didn’t really matter. “ _Anyways_ , that’s not the important part. He has a provisional license, even though he’s only seventeen, because his parents own a farm-to-table restaurant and needed someone who could do van transport for vegetables and stuff. They had to write in for special permission and he has all of these rules he has to follow, like driving curfews and only having two passengers in his car at a time. But! He did tell me to call him if I ever need to go somewhere and my nurse isn’t available, so it works out in our favor today, Kyou-chan!” 

Kyoutani had the urge to point out the fact that Oikawa could have always tried to contact them if he was as desperate for human contact as he made it seem - he didn’t want to start any fights though. This was the first time they were actually in the same room together and there wasn’t fighting involved. And even though people tended to call Oikawa an asshole often, Kyoutani was starting to think maybe his _asshole_ tendencies came from a place of vulnerability. 

He wasn’t a stranger to feelings of inadequacy. In fact, he had them everyday. He didn’t think he was good enough to be on the volleyball team, or to have any mates let alone two. Not to mention, Iwaizumi was probably the nicest guy he’d ever met, even though he was stubborn and competitive and didn’t quite know how to talk about his feelings. Hell, they had those things in common anyways. 

But even right then, sitting there watching Tooru down his coffee in a rush, Kyoutani couldn’t help but to feel those thoughts creeping up on him. What did he do to deserve such a beautiful, charismatic guy as his mate? Sure, Oikawa was in a wheelchair now, and maybe some people would ask what they did to get stuck with such a misfortune, but Kyoutani was more preoccupied with the other things. The things that made Oikawa absolutely incredible, because he’d definitely spent a lot of time asking Iwaizumi for details about him, when they were out on their dates, or on the phone late at night. 

He knew that Oikawa was smart and charismatic, but also competitive and stubborn. Iwaizumi even went as far as to say he was a natural born leader, and he was sure that he was going to go places in life. And now, he knew that Oikawa was absolutely gorgeous, with fluffy brown hair that whisped around his head like a halo. His eyes were deep brown and Kyoutani found himself wanting to know what it was like to get lost in them. 

But deep down, there were those digging whispers, reminding him that this wasn’t something he was good enough to have. Telling him that he should just get Iwaizumi and Oikawa back together again and then vanish so they could be happy. The darkest parts of him taunted him, leaving him questioning if Oikawa being in a wheelchair was his fault. After all, he wouldn’t have ended up in a wheelchair if Kyoutani had just refused to meet Iwaizumi when Yahaba offered to introduce them. 

That was a dark thought that threatened to consume him, but he was yanked out of it with surprising suddenness as Oikawa clapped his hands together once. 

“Ken-chan! Ushiwaka is waiting for us downstairs. I’ll need you to get my manual wheelchair from the closet. The electric one doesn’t fit in his car.” Oikawa grinned brightly and pointed in the direction of the closet. 

Pushing all of his thoughts of inadequacy to the sidelines for then, Kyoutani rose from the bed to retrieve it. He knew the thoughts would consume him again, when he wasn’t busy and his brain wasn’t distracted by other things. They would attack and thrive on him, always gleefully reminding him that he wasn’t good enough for the two gorgeous men he was supposedly destined to be with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave your thoughts in the comments :) I love hearing from you guys


	5. My Way Home Is Through You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author sucks at doing the author thing and actually writing.   
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, even though it's shorter than the other ones.   
> Feel free to leave a comment bitching at me for taking so long. I'll try to figure out an actually posting schedule for this fic thats reasonable. 
> 
> Bitch at me on tumblr @trash--universe

Kyoutani’s first impression of Ushijima Wakatoshi was that the other teen was large. He was just so tall and broadly built, it was sort of surprising to see when he wheeled Oikawa down into the lobby of his building. That being said, Oikawa had told him that Ushijima was the captain at a powerhouse school, so maybe that should have just been something he should have expected. Most kids that went to powerhouse schools were huge. 

“Ushiwaka-chan! Good morning!” Despite the sour faces Oikawa had been making while they were up in the flat, he was all smiles for Ushijima now. 

It was simple, really. Now that he was damaged, there was no awkward part of the conversation waiting to come up. Ushijima would never try to convince him to go to Shiratorizawa again, because it wasn’t like he could play on the team anyways. Now they could just chat without all of the fighting that they used to do. It was easy - they rooted for the same professional volleyball teams, and had a lot in common when it came to interests. Plus, Ushijima was also part of a triad. He’d really given Oikawa a lot to think about in that respect, since his relationship worked so flawlessly all the time. 

Ushijima completely adored Satori and Reon, almost to the point of annoying people with how much he talked about them all of the time. 

At one point, Ushijima explained why he kept inviting Oikawa to Shiratorizawa, and it had been a hard conversation. He’d admitted that the request had been mostly selfish. He was just trying to build the strongest team in the prefecture, and he saw Oikawa as the strongest setter Miyagi had to offer. He hadn’t meant for it to be an insult to Seijou at all, but rather a compliment and testament to Oikawa’s skills as a setter. It had led to tears in the end, because Oikawa was reminded once again that he’d never step foot on another volleyball court again. He’d never set, and everyone would forget about him. 

He’d went from prodigy to tragedy in a single car ride. And it fucking sucked. 

But none of those harsh feelings were alive that day. Oikawa was determined to make things right with Iwa-chan, and had one of those stubborn, forced smiles plastered across his face. It was a dead indicator to Kyoutani that, while Oikawa was putting on a happy face for the most part, he knew that the conversation they were heading into wasn’t going to be a walk in the park for any of them. 

He stood back and tried to pay attention to the way Ushijima rolled Oikawa up to the passenger side door, letting the man use the handle to hoist himself up and work his way into the car. He had his tongue stuck out in concentration, and a stubborn look in his eyes that clearly said he wouldn’t accept any help with the situation even if it was offered. After just a few minutes, Oikawa was settled. Ushijima handed him his backpack from the back of his wheelchair before shutting the door and loading the chair into the trunk. 

Once he and Ushijma were piled into the car, the drive was awkward. The only sound was the hum from the engine and Oikawa’s quiet, nervous babbling about what he intended to say to Iwaizumi to make things right. The words were a blurry jumble for Kentarou though, who was trying to distract himself from the slowly rising anxiety that was creeping up on him, rising like bile and burning it’s way up his throat. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen between all of them, but the odds of the confrontation being tense and resulting in screaming were pretty high. 

Just the thought of it left his hands feeling clammy, and his head feeling fuzzy. He felt like he shouldn’t be there for that. Despite the fact that Oikawa was the one to reach out to him, to invite him in and beg him for comfort, Kyoutani was still worried about not having a place between the other two. Sure, their names had been written into his flesh for years now, but after the initial rejection from Oikawa, he wasn’t going to take his soulmarks at face value anymore. He’d been through the pain of having his expectations shattered once, and he didn’t want to have to go through that again. 

But there was no getting out of the car as it cruised along, rocking ever so slightly every time they hit a bump in the road. He was going to be there when Oikawa and Iwaizumi reunited, even if that scared him. Luckily, he didn’t have too much time left to work himself up, because Ushijima was soon parking outside of Iwaizumi’s home, turning off the car before retrieving Oikawa’s wheelchair. 

“I hope everything can be fixed.” Oikawa’s sigh from the front seat made it obvious that Kentarou wasn’t the only one worried about how the conversation was going to go. “I really messed up with Iwa-chan. I think the fact that we’re on speaking terms will help, but it’s not going to go back in time and reverse the way I treated him.” 

Kyoutani can’t help but to feel his heart tug, and he leaned forward to gently pat Oikawa’s shoulder around the car’s seat. “All you can do is try… and to be honest, I think an honest attempt is all that he’s looking for from you.” Or at least, that’s what he hoped it would take to fix the whole mess. 

“I’ll try as hard as I can to make this better. But even if Iwa-chan forgives me, there’s nothing to say that things will ever go back to the way they were before.” The comment sends a thick sense of dread through Kyoutani, because all he can think about his being the reason why things won’t go back to the way his mate liked them. It makes him feel unwanted, undesirable. Like he should have just stayed away instead of meeting Iwaizumi. Oikawa kept talking though, unable to see the look on Kyoutani’s face from where he was sat. “Iwa-chan will always know how selfish and dumb I am. I can’t believe that I thought making him pick would be smart. Or that I could even hide something like being paralyzed from him. He’s gonna think I’m an idiot forever, Ken-chan!” 

“I’m sure Iwaizumi already knew of your personality flaws, Oikawa.” Ushijima pointed out as he helped the man from the car and into his chair. 

This caused Oikawa to let out a shriek of protest. “Wakatoshi, you brute!” He huffed as he was placed down, and Kyoutani slipped from the car. “How dare you? I’m the sweetest person you’ve ever met. I’m insulted that you would insinuate that I’ve always been dumb and selfish.” He was pouting in his chair now, arms crossed over his chest. The little fit seemed to break a bit of the tension Oikawa was feeling though. Iwa-chan had known him for his entire life - would he have expected something like this from him? Was that why it had been so easy for him to go to Kyoutani instead? Had he just expected him to come out of it and snap back into his senses eventually? 

It left him with a lot to think about as Ushijima pushed him up the uneven sidewalk that led to Iwaizumi’s front door. He assumed Kyoutani was trailing behind, but it was hard for him to look back to check. He didn’t know the kid that well yet, so he’d just assumed that his silence through the car ride was a normal thing. It only concerned him for a passing moment, because then he was too busy being sick with nerves as Ushijima knocked gently on the front door. 

He then turned to Kyoutani before the door was even answered. “I’m going to head home, so I don’t intrude on your conversation. If he needs a ride home, don’t hesitate to call me.” 

Kyoutani gave a firm not, in attempt to hide his nerves. “Okay, yeah. Thanks for helping us today. You’re really nice.” 

Ushijima gave him a smile that was surprisingly soft for a man of his size. “Anytime. I like to help out when I can. That’s what friends do.” Kyoutani watched helplessly as Ushijima headed back over to his still running car and took off again. What he really wanted to do was beg Ushijima to take him with him, to leave Oikawa and Iwaizumi to have whatever conversation they needed to have with each other. But that was cowardly, these were his mates, and it was partially his responsibility to help fix the rift between the three of them. Even if he only indirectly expedited the situation. 

Plus, it was not like either of them had a chance to run, as Iwaizumi opened his front door, looking messy and bedraggled. His hair was sticking up in all directions, and he was still wearing nothing but baggy pajama pants that rode low on his hips. It was a look that both Kentarou and Oikawa would have appreciated, if they weren’t so damn nervous. 

“Iwa-chan.” Oikawa’s voice sounded shaky, like he was barely holding things together, and instinctively Kyoutani reached forward and settled his hand on his shoulder. He hated seeing people cry in general, there was always so much drama involved with it, but for some reason he found himself especially hating it when he saw Oikawa cry. Maybe it was a soulmate thing, or maybe it was because he knew Oikawa was already so much drama, and adding crying to the list was just a little too much for Kentarou’s sanity. 

In an awkward shuffle, Iwaizumi grumbled a simple greeting and they all filed into the home. It felt surreal being there again for Oikawa. It all still looked the same; colorful with pictures of Iwaizumi, his parents, and the family dog littering the walls and the tops of side tables. His parents had always been obsessed with capturing every significant moment in Iwaizumi’s life. Oikawa thought it was maybe because he was adopted, but he wasn’t completely sure. 

But overall, it felt really weird being there and not being able to plop into the dark red beanbag chair in the corner or chasing Iwaizumi into the kitchen so they could pilfer some of the snacks that Iwaizumi’s mum always kept stashed away on the top shelf of the pantry. 

The silence in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife, almost smothering Oikawa as he looked to Iwaizumi, who was standing at the entrance to the living room after letting him and Kyoutani file in. There was an especially irritated look on his face as he gazed upon his soulmates. 

“What are you doing here, Oikawa?” He said finally, moving from the doorway to sit on one of the couches in the small living space. “I thought you’d decided that you didn’t want either of us around.” The words were stinging, harsh, but Oikawa figure that, at least on some level, he deserved a bit of scorn from Iwaizumi. It did give him verbal whiplash though, and stung his heart in a way that he was sure only Iwaizumi could do. 

“Just hear him out,” Kyoutani murmured from the other side of the room, though there was a clear look of not wanting to be there in his eyes. Like he was scared of what might happen during their conversation. Oikawa couldn’t even blame him, because the last time all three of them were in the same room, he’d thrown a vase at the poor guy. 

“Iwa-chan… I came to apologize.” Oikawa hesitated for a moment, but was given a nod by his first soulmate to continue with what he had to say. “At first, I was being selfish and petty. I didn’t want to share you with anyone. I thought that being part of a triad meant that I wasn’t enough to please you on my own… and that when you accepted Kentarou, you were agreeing with fate that I just wasn’t enough on my own.”

“You didn’t only hurt me when you did that, Tooru. You hurt Kentarou too.” Iwaizumi pointed out, arms going over his chest in a defensive manner. But luckily, Kyoutani was quick to jump in. 

“We had a lot of time to talk about that last night. I don’t… forgive him completely yet. But we’re going to work on our relationship. Just please listen to him for a bit more?” Oikawa was overwhelmingly grateful that he had their other mate in the room right then. He didn’t know how he would have gotten through this without having at least a little bit of back up. He knew it was going to take a hell of a lot more than one tear filled night on the phone for them to work things out, especially with all of the damage he’d caused the other because of his rejection, but it was a start. 

“Then my accident happened, and it was like the universe dealt me another slap in the face out of nowhere.” Oikawa had to pause for a moment, choked up a little, but he felt a warm hand on his shoulder after a moment. Kyoutani, being the ever supportive presence that Oikawa had never even known he could be before last night. “I’d lost my mate and the use of my legs… my whole future as a volleyball prodigy… everything in the span of just a few weeks. And I shut down. I told Issei not to tell anyone what was going on.” He was ashamed of that almost more than anything else. He’d never blatantly kept secrets like that from Iwa-chan. And he hadn’t had any trust in his mate, even after all the time they’d spent together. 

He took a deep breath and continued his monologue, since he hadn’t been stopped again. “I spent most of my summer in physical therapy, learning how to get around on my own without the use of my legs. And while waiting for my appointment to start, I ran into Ushiwaka-chan.” 

Iwaizumi did stop him there. “Why was Ushijima Wakatoshi at your physical therapy place?” That didn’t seem to line up properly for him, but Oikawa waved a hand at it, as if that wasn’t really the most important detail to the story he was currently trying to get out. 

“He goes for preemptive care for his joints so he doesn’t end up with any busted knees or shoulders. Anyways, the point is that he’s part of a triad.” Oikawa continued, and it was a detail that shocked even Kyoutani, who hadn’t really heard the whole story over the phone the night before. It had been most Oikawa sobbing about how alone he was and how awful he felt for pushing everyone away, and stuff like that. “He started talking to me about it, and we started meeting up for coffee after my appointments. He helped me… open up more to the possibility of accepting the triad I was a part of. But I still wasn’t open to asking you to come back to me… because of all this mess.” He gestured down at himself, putting particular emphasis on the wheelchair. “I thought you two would be happier without me and my broken parts.” 

Iwaizumi opened his mouth as if to say something but shut it again with a snap when Kyoutani gave him a pleading look from behind Oikawa. He felt like yelling and screaming about how stupid those thoughts even were. But it was clear that Oikawa now understood how stupid they were, since it wasn’t like his soul mates were vapid or shallow people. Something like that wouldn’t matter to them. 

“But Ushiwaka explained to me the way he sees triads.” Oikawa took a deep breath, fidgeting with the fabric of his pants. “He said that triads aren’t made because their members don’t have enough love… but because they have more than the normal amount to go around. That we have two soul mates because there is so much love contained in our beings that we need more than one person to share it with for the rest of our lives, and that our different kinds of love will balance each other out and leave us feeling like a more...complete unit.” He shrugged. “I started to accept that. But the issue was that I wasn’t sure I was welcome anymore, especially being the way I was.” 

There was a moment of silence in the room, where Kyoutani swore he could hear Oikawa’s heart beating out of his chest. His jaw ached from the way he had it clenched, desperate to keep quiet through the speech that Oikawa had obviously been thinking long and hard about on the way over from his flat. 

“When you showed up at my apartment out of the blue with Kentarou, I lashed out because of all of my anxious feelings hitting me at once.” His breath came out in a rush, as both of his soul mates could tell that anxiety was still very much affecting him in the moment. “You found out about my accident before I’d been fully ready to tell you. Everything I’d hidden was out on the line, Kentaoru was at your side, and my mind just shattered. I thought it would be better if I made you leave… so you two could move on and have the perfect life together that I always thought you and I would have.” His hands were shaking now, and he couldn’t control them. Not even Kentarou’s hands on his shoulders were making much of a difference now. “But I’m selfish, Iwa-chan!” He practically yelled, his throat getting tight as all of his emotions started escaping, choking him up and bringing burning tears to his eyes. “I called you and called you, but you never answered because you dropped your stupid phone in the sink. So I finally called Kentarou, because I was so fucking desperate to not be alone. I was sure he’d hang up when he realized it was me, so I begged him not to, like the selfish piece of shit I am… and he came for me. Even though I didn’t deserve it. Even though all I’ve ever done is hurt him. He came for me, and I still don’t deserve it, but gods, I am going to hold on as tightly as I can to him for as long as he’ll let me because I’m selfish and I can’t do this alone anymore.” 

The silence in the room was thick when Oikawa finally stopped talking, tears and snot running down his face in a truly ugly form of crying. Kentarou didn’t dare make the first move, feeling like the whole conversation was between Iwaizumi and Oikawa, like he was a spectator up in the crowd with no real right to step in with his own words. 

“I-Iwa-chan?” Oikawa finally desperately whimpered out, and it was like the reset button had been switched on their soul mate. He lunged forward, smacking his arm on Oikawa’s chair as he went to embrace the boy tightly, pressing his face into the crook of his shoulder and meshing a hand in his hair so that they were fully interlocked. 

“You idiot… you never would have had to do this alone if you’d just talked to us. God, we spent all summer wishing you’d get out of your funk so we could be with you… we never imagined something like this.” Iwaizumi’s words came out in a rush. “If we had even an inkling of what was going on with you, you wouldn’t have been able to keep me from being by your side, you know?” 

Tears were spilling, but for once Kyoutani didn’t find himself too put on edge by them. In fact, he was shuffling kind of awkwardly in the background, wishing he felt like he belonged enough to join the embrace his soul mates were currently having. But he didn’t want to ruin the moment by imposing himself on them. He still didn’t know if Oikawa fully considered him part of them yet. And this was a big step in general, so he didn’t want to fuck it up. 

But he yearned to be held like that, and to hold them like that. It made his blood vibrate beneath his skin with want. He been patient this long, though, and it wouldn’t hurt to wait just a bit longer. 

“It may take a while, but we’ll fix this, Tooru.” 

“Iwa-chan…” 

Yeah, waiting was something Kentarou could definitely do, as long as he got to wait at the sides of the two idiots he was destined to spend the rest of forever with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of what I consider "Part One" of this fic, being kind of the "redemption" (but not really) arc. I can't wait to show you what I have planned for the rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment letting me know your thoughts.


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